Oh, boy.
I’m so sorry, Ray.
I’m so sorry that Cocaine Bear is your first big screen posthumous release (although I guess I’m glad it’s not your last?).
And I’m particularly sorry that the movie ends on a title card that says “In Loving Memory of Ray Liotta.”
You deserve so much better…
Anyway, Cocaine Bear, the new “based” “on” “a” “true” “story” feature film (it did make the Times, to be fair; although there aren’t enough quotation marks in the world for this “adaptation”) from writer Jimmy Warden and director Elizabeth Banks (neither of whom I’m eager to see in those roles ever again) is not especially humorous, horrifying, or heartwarming, despite attempting to be all three in a roughly ninety-minute span.
To be fair, I did laugh out loud a few times, so I can’t say that Cocaine Bear is a comedy that never tickled my funny bone, but… I also just saw Munich for the first time the other night, and I’m pretty sure I laughed out loud more during that movie, which, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Munich, but, it is decidedly not a comedy.
Look, making a film is many things, but one very important aspect is making creative choices and committing to them.
This is supposed to be a period piece, right? It’s supposed to take place in 1985?
They got things like the vehicles right, and I guess the music, and, for the most part, the clothes, but none of the characters act like they’re in the 1980s (all the news footage and PSAs in the world can’t convince me otherwise). They just act like characters in a crappy contemporary comedy. You could have moved this story up to 2022 and it would barely (bear-ly?) affect the final product.
And, I’m sorry, but if you can find me a uniform (not undercover) cop in Knoxville, Tennessee in 1985 who ever looked like this… I’ll buy you a delicatessen, in stainless steel!
Another failing, and I can’t pinpoint it specifically, because I don’t know what was in the screenplay nor what scenes were actually shot, but the movie sometimes feels like there was a two-hour version that got cut down with no logic behind the decision-making. Not so much that the film is incomprehensible, but more that, rather than cutting down one particular subplot to reduce the runtime, it seems like they cut pieces from every subplot, leaving the movie feeling more than a little underbaked.
And, finally, I’m always squeamish about criticizing performances, because, by-and-large, actors simply do whatever directors demand of them, and then the editing process can make-or-break performances even more so, but, if the best performance in your movie filled with professional actors comes from a social media star (in the best sequence in the movie, to be honest), that’s probably not a great sign.
Overall, I wouldn’t say I hated Cocaine Bear. Like I said, it did make me laugh a few times, but it’s just such a missed opportunity across the board. It actually could have been really funny, or scary, or heartwarming, or any combination of the three, but, in the end, it’s just a damp squib.
Sorry, Ray.
Rating: ★★☆☆☆
P.S.
If you’re looking for an underseen movie with Ray Liotta that’s actually good, I can’t recommend The Iceman highly enough.
Cocaine Bear (2023)
Directed by Elizabeth Banks
Written by Jimmy Warden
Cast: Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr, Alden Ehrenreich, Christian Convery, Brooklynn Prince, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Margo Martindale, Ray Liotta, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Aaron Holliday, J.B. Moore, Leo Hanna, Matthew Rhys, Kristofer Hivju, Hannah Hoekstra, Ayoola Smart, Kahyun Kim, Scott Seiss
Soundtrack: Mark Mothersbaugh