Tag: Christian Convery

Movie Review – ‘Cocaine Bear’ – “Exit, pursued by a bore”

Release Date: February 24, 2023

Oh, boy.

I’m so sorry, Ray.

I’m so sorry that Cocaine Bear is your first big screen posthumous release (although I guess I’m glad it’s not your last?).

And I’m particularly sorry that the movie ends on a title card that says “In Loving Memory of Ray Liotta.”

You deserve so much better…

Anyway, Cocaine Bear, the new “based” “on” “a” “true” “story” feature film (it did make the Times, to be fair; although there aren’t enough quotation marks in the world for this “adaptation”) from writer Jimmy Warden and director Elizabeth Banks (neither of whom I’m eager to see in those roles ever again) is not especially humorous, horrifying, or heartwarming, despite attempting to be all three in a roughly ninety-minute span.

To be fair, I did laugh out loud a few times, so I can’t say that Cocaine Bear is a comedy that never tickled my funny bone, but… I also just saw Munich for the first time the other night, and I’m pretty sure I laughed out loud more during that movie, which, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Munich, but, it is decidedly not a comedy.

Look, making a film is many things, but one very important aspect is making creative choices and committing to them.

This is supposed to be a period piece, right?  It’s supposed to take place in 1985?

They got things like the vehicles right, and I guess the music, and, for the most part, the clothes, but none of the characters act like they’re in the 1980s (all the news footage and PSAs in the world can’t convince me otherwise).  They just act like characters in a crappy contemporary comedy.  You could have moved this story up to 2022 and it would barely (bear-ly?) affect the final product.

And, I’m sorry, but if you can find me a uniform (not undercover) cop in Knoxville, Tennessee in 1985 who ever looked like this… I’ll buy you a delicatessen, in stainless steel!

Another failing, and I can’t pinpoint it specifically, because I don’t know what was in the screenplay nor what scenes were actually shot, but the movie sometimes feels like there was a two-hour version that got cut down with no logic behind the decision-making.  Not so much that the film is incomprehensible, but more that, rather than cutting down one particular subplot to reduce the runtime, it seems like they cut pieces from every subplot, leaving the movie feeling more than a little underbaked.

And, finally, I’m always squeamish about criticizing performances, because, by-and-large, actors simply do whatever directors demand of them, and then the editing process can make-or-break performances even more so, but, if the best performance in your movie filled with professional actors comes from a social media star (in the best sequence in the movie, to be honest), that’s probably not a great sign.

Overall, I wouldn’t say I hated Cocaine Bear.  Like I said, it did make me laugh a few times, but it’s just such a missed opportunity across the board.  It actually could have been really funny, or scary, or heartwarming, or any combination of the three, but, in the end, it’s just a damp squib.

Sorry, Ray.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

P.S.
If you’re looking for an underseen movie with Ray Liotta that’s actually good, I can’t recommend The Iceman highly enough.


Cocaine Bear (2023)
Directed by Elizabeth Banks
Written by Jimmy Warden
Cast: Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr, Alden Ehrenreich, Christian Convery, Brooklynn Prince, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Margo Martindale, Ray Liotta, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Aaron Holliday, J.B. Moore, Leo Hanna, Matthew Rhys, Kristofer Hivju, Hannah Hoekstra, Ayoola Smart, Kahyun Kim, Scott Seiss
Soundtrack: Mark Mothersbaugh

New and Old Twofer – ‘Venom’ and ‘The Blob’ (1988) – Oozing on Through

Venom

Directed by Ruben Fleischer
Written by Scott Rosenberg & Jeff Pinkner (screenplay and story), Kelly Marcel (screenplay), and Will Beall (screenplay), based on the Marvel comics by Todd McFarlane & David Michelinie
Cast: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, Scott Haze, Reid Scott, Jenny Slate, Michelle Lee, Mac Brandt, Sope Aluko, Wayne Péré, Scott Deckert, Marcella Bragio, Christian Convery, Sam Medina, Ron Cephas Jones
Soundtrack: Ludwig Göransson

Another week, another Riz Ahmed movie, and another big surprise.

I will admit, as I did last month, that it’s been such a down year for movies that I may well be grading on a curve at this point, but I will say unequivocally that in terms of new releases, Venom is the most fun I’ve had in a theater in 2018.  Big time critics may not value that (or even experience it), but I do.

The film is a horror-comedy-action-sci-fi mash-up that won’t work for everyone, but it won me over early and never betrayed my trust.  It’s certainly the best thing Ruben Fleischer (who I’d say I generally like) has done since Zombieland.

Now, you may ask, “Is there a lot of CGI in this movie?” and the answer is yes, there is, but, there is also a noticeable commitment to keeping things practical where they could.  For example, at the beginning of the film, there’s a spaceship that crashes, and when you see a response team at the crash site, they’re not looking at a blue screen, they’re looking at, as Daniel Craig’s James Bond might say, “A bloody big ship,” and that warmed my heart immediately; not to mention there’s some lovely use of San Francisco as a location.

As far as performances go, I’m not sure you can call whatever Tom Hardy is doing good or bad, it just kind of is, and since this isn’t Citizen Kane, I was fine with it; and, frankly, he pulled off the humor much better than I would have expected.

Beyond that, I like the way the Venom story and characters have been updated to present day-sensibilities (making Eddie Brock essentially a VICE reporter is particularly choice), and, even though the studio opted out of going for the R-rating (despite the success of Deadpool and Logan), it’s clear to me that the movie owes something, at least in spirit, to the 80s splatter films of Frank Henenlotter and Stuart Gordon (as well as Chuck Russell’s The Blob, which we’ll get to shortly), perhaps even Devil’s Express.

It’s not the most original screenplay in the world in terms of plot (hello, Iron Man), but it at least tries to do it’s own thing tone-wise.

As I said, it won’t work for everyone, but it’s certainly better than the critical reception would have you believe; perfect for a Halloween season comic book fix.

Rating: ★★★★½

 

The Blob (1988)

Original Release Date: August 5, 1988
Directed by Chuck Russell
Written by Chuck Russell & Frank Darabont, based on an earlier screenplay by Theodore Simonson and Kay Linaker, based on a story by Irvine H. Millgate
Cast: Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch, Jeffrey DeMunn, Candy Clark, Joe Seneca, Del Close, Paul McCrane, Robert Axelrod, Beau Billingslea, Michael Kenworthy, Douglas Emerson, Jamison Newlander, Judith Flanagan, Art LaFleur, Sharon Spelman, Billy Beck, Jack Nance, Bill Moseley, Erika Eleniak, Ricky Paull Goldin, Frank Collison, Jack Rader, Clayton Landey, Noble Craig, Julie McCullough
Soundtrack: Michael Hoenig

Full disclosure, I saw this in a double feature with the 1958 original, which gave me an appreciation I might not have otherwise had (not that I hadn’t seen both versions before).  I’d give the original a review as well, but it was on a pretty faded archival print and I just don’t feel right about judging it in that way.

Anyway, in terms of 80s horror (and remakes in general), Chuck Russell’s The Blob is definitely up there.

It’s essentially a sliced, diced, sauteed, and smothered (get it?) version of the original (Blob comes to Earth in a meteor, eats a hobo, wreaks havoc in a small town, etc.), with more than a dash of Stephen King mixed in for flavor (no surprise there given Russell co-wrote the screenplay with Frank Darabont), and a refreshing attention to detail (no joke, I think even the cliche jump-scare cat is set up).  Seriously, if you like structure in your plot, this is the movie for you.

And, it’s properly gooey and gory and gross, although it’s amazing how some of the practical effects don’t look all that different from their counterparts thirty years earlier.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s not the best-acted movie I’ve ever seen (although that aspect is still an upgrade over the original), but I can forgive that based on the strength of the visuals and the story.

Overall, 1988’s The Blob certainly isn’t as strong as Philip Kaufman’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers or John Carpenter’s The Thing, but, for the genre and the time it was made, it deserves to be in the conversation of more-than-worthwhile remakes.

Rating: ★★★★☆