Chelcie Ross – People Talking

Quick Thoughts – September Round-Up, Part 2

‘Judgment Night’ (1993)

People who know this movie seem to have a soft spot for it, but I just don’t see what they see.

Now, I am slightly bending the rules here, because while I did technically see this in a theater, it wasn’t a film print or any kind of high resolution projection; it was on VHS, which makes sense from a nostalgia perspective given just how 90s ‘Judgment Night’ is, but it makes my job as a reviewer much harder, because so much picture quality is lost (not to mention the whole pan-and-scan issue). That said, I think my thoughts are generally still valid, but, feel free to take them with a grain of salt on this one.

My biggest issue with ‘Judgment Night’, besides feeling its length, is the fact that it demands to be taken so, so seriously, and I just can’t give it that kind of credence. I don’t think any of the performances are special (not even Denis Leary), the script doesn’t offer much in terms of actual surprises, and, most importantly, I never felt connected enough to any of the characters to really care if they made it or not. Also, I’m not normally a super nit-picky guy, but the fact that the movie is supposed to be in Chicago, and is so obviously like 90% L.A., it did take me out of the movie just a bit. I feel like I should be more into movies that take place over the course of one night, but the evidence isn’t stacking up that way (e.g. ‘After Hours‘).

However, just because I didn’t really like ‘Judgment Night’ doesn’t mean I don’t think it should get better treatment on home format. Honestly, with the amount of horrible schlock getting restored and re-releaseed on Blu-ray these days, you’d think somebody would take a flyer on this one, especially since it appears to have an audience and features so many notable actors. I’d sure be willing to give it a second look then.

Rating: ★★½ (out of five)

‘Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure‘ (1989)
‘Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey‘ (1991)

I had never seen either of these before, and I was a little worried about being able to connect to them. After all, I already have a history degree; what do I care if these bums can’t ace their presentation? But, I have to give credit to writers Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon for coming up with a delightfully bonkers concept, and directors Stephen Herek (who has a really interesting filmography, at least for his first fifteen years directing) and Peter Hewett for committing to it and having fun with it, while not overly winking at the audience. The vapidness of the Bill and Ted characters belies the cleverness of the movies themselves.

‘Excellent Adventure’ is a fun romp through history, as our heroes bounce around time (and geography), accumulating “personages of historical significance” along the way, eventually bringing them back to present day Southern California (and the mall), which leads to a lot of fun fish-out-of-water humor (I particularly enjoyed Napoleon at the water park). The movie (and its sequel) also plays with the notion of time travel as a screenwriter’s convenient friend, as in our heroes being privy to necessary items just in the nick of time (kind of hard to explain, but if you see the movie, you’ll know exactly what I mean). There’s also a lot of humor outside of the main plot, like how Bill’s stepmom was a Senior when they were Freshmen, and other students’ presentations (“San Dimas High School football rules!”).

But how do you top time travel? ‘Bogus Journey’ answers this question by sending Bill and Ted to HELL (and other places in the spirit realm/afterlife). In all honesty, ‘Bogus Journey’ is a rare sequel that lives up to (and almost exceeds) the original, by expanding on the already existing concepts while also adding its own flavor. However, as generally fresh as it is, it also might be the most sequel sequel to ever sequel, seeing as how it has the bad guys from ‘Lethal Weapon 2‘ and ‘Die Hard 2‘, respectively, but this is just me having fun. One of my favorite moments is the humorous homage to the “game with Death” from Ingmar Bergman’s ‘The Seventh Seal’ (you’ll definitely know this when you see it).

All-in-all, these two films make a great double feature (partially because they clock in around ninety minutes each). They’re funny, they’re clever, and they look and sound surprisingly good (I definitely would not call them chintzy). Sure, maybe they’re not ‘Back to the Future’, but what is? I’m pleasantly surprised to be able to recommend them.

(Also, I don’t know if this is a major point of discussion, but I’m definitely a Bill guy over a Ted guy.)

Dual Rating: ★★★★☆

‘Sleepy Hollow’ (1999)

Speaking of giving credit where credit is due, I have to give it up to Tim Burton on this one. It’s no secret that I’m generally not a fan of his, but ‘Sleepy Hollow’ works pretty well for me (which I’ll come back to).

However, as he’s wont to do, Burton goes too far in a few places. As much as I enjoy the ensemble cast, and as much as I enjoy Christopher Walken himself, the sight of him with razor-sharp teeth is absolutely ridiculous. Also, the whole subplot of Ichabod Crane as a child is more than a bit overdone, not to mention it feels like a poor excuse to get Burton’s then-girlfriend Lisa Marie into the film (for those unaware, she came before Helena Bonham Carter, and that’s all I’ll say about that). And, naturally, there’s Danny Elfman’s score, which I’m not going to say is all bad, but there are some elements that evoke the stereotype of a “typical Elfman score” that, culturally, we’ve become so familiar with.

All that said, the movie is pretty enjoyable. The ensemble cast, as I mentioned, is wonderful, from Martin Landau in an uncredited cameo, to Michael Gambon and Miranda Richardson, to, of course, Johnny Depp as Police Constable (and nascent criminologist/medical examiner) Ichabod Crane.

‘Sleepy Hollow’ does an admirable job of putting a fresh face on a classic story that’s been done many times over, while also throwing in knowing nods to past adaptations. And, not unlike the recent ‘Train to Busan‘, I think the movie could be described as “general audience horror.”

Definitely one for the Halloween watch-list.

Rating: ★★★½ (out of five)

Classic Movie Review – ‘Major League’ (Grant & Danny’s Movie Madness)

Original Release Date: April 7, 1989
Written and Directed by David S. Ward
Cast: Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Margaret Whitton, James Gammon, Rene Russo, Wesley Snipes, Chelcie Ross, Dennis Haysbert, Andy Romano, Bob Uecker, Neil Flynn
Soundtrack: James Newton Howard

Sometimes in life you get REESE’S moments.

It’s no secret that I love Alamo Drafthouse more than I love cake, ice cream, or a combination of the two, but what may be surprising, given that I am an out-of-market listener, is that I’m a loyal fan of The Grant & Danny Show (on 106.7 FM in the greater Washington D.C. area).

So, when the guys on the program said that not only would they be creating a “Movie Madness” bracket (not to be confused with National Lampoon’s Movie Madness, which also featured Margaret Whitton) of sports films to vote upon, but would also be showing the winning movie at their local Alamo Drafthouse, of course I said to myself, “I’m there,” despite the near-300 mile drive entailed.

Was it worth it?

Yeah, it was worth it. After all, it’s not every day you get to meet the crew from one of your favorite XM radio programs, as well as other loyal listeners. Plus, we all got to watch a great movie together.

As I said when I briefly talked about Goon, I have one rule about comedic films: make me laugh. Major League achieves this, and so much more; I think one could say it actually affected professional baseball as we know it (more on that later).

Let’s start ~~when he was twelve~~ at the beginning, with the opening credits: a montage of Cleveland sights and sounds as well as back page headlines chronicling the Indians’ mediocrity though the decades, all set to Randy Newman’s “Burn On”. Now, did they choose this song only because it’s about Cleveland? Or were they also making a subtle reference to the fact that Randy Newman scored The Natural? Either way, it’s the perfect choice.

It sounds horribly obvious, but good choices seem to be the key as to why Major League works so well (especially when compared to Major League II, which goes full-on broad comedy and I don’t want to talk about it). Take the casting. Tom Berenger as grizzled veteran catcher Jake Taylor works; he’s the steady hand that keeps the team together. Charlie Sheen (who I believe actually pitched in high school) as reprobate hardball thrower Rick Vaughn is believable, despite some of the innate silliness of the character. Wesley Snipes as Ricky Henderson clone Willie Mays Hays is as cocky as he needs to be. And last, but absolutely not least, James Gammon as manager Lou Brown is the perfect combination of heart and toughness that I’d want in a real-life baseball manager. Even smaller roles like Andy Romano as coach Pepper Leach have the right je ne sais quoi.

The plot of a trophy widow owner assembling a team so bad that attendance will drop to the point of being able to get out of the contract with the city and move to Miami is a fine comedic premise, but what makes Major League truly special is that even though there are some wacky funny bits (like the nominally Christian pitcher who tells the voodoo practitioner, “[Jesus] isn’t fooled,” while he himself is reading a Hustler magazine), it also legitimately works as a sports movie. I have to admit, in spite of all the silliness, I got a little emotional at the end.

It’s because the baseball scenes are largely taken seriously that the movie triumphs. Not to say that somebody couldn’t nitpick it to death (for one thing, I’ve never seen that many women at a ballgame), but there’s nothing as egregious as the “Martell crossed” moment in The Replacements (where Shane Falco goes from quarterback to fisherman in an instant, because there are no backups in this universe). On the contrary, when Pedro Cerrano hits one out of the park, rounds the bases, celebrates with his teammates, and then comes back out of the dugout for a curtain call, it feels completely real; by far one of the best sequences in the film. I also like the “calm before the storm” ahead of the one-game playoff, when everybody’s in the locker room just trying to relax, or get stretched out, or visualizing the big moments to come.

All of this of course brings us to the sequence that actually changed baseball, where “Wild Thing” Ricky Vaughn walks from the bullpen to the mound while the crowd goes crazy to his eponymous theme music (performed by X, of all people), setting the standard for Closers to come (although it was a non-save situation for Ricky). As far as I can find, no pitcher before the release of Major League ever walked onto the field to music, but it’s certainly become commonplace since.

In the end, I’d be remiss if I didn’t give proper credit to writer and director David S. Ward. It was his movie, it was his dream, it was his labor of love, and it’s fantastic. You know you’re doing something right when you can get an audience to cheer for the Cleveland Indians when they never would otherwise.

Much like real March Madness brackets, Major League might not the best sports movie of all time, but it sure felt like a worthy champion this year.

Rating: ★★★★½ (out of five)

P.S. Shout out to Wookie of the Year for bringing Astro donuts to the event. I had a s’mores donut and it was ¡muy delicioso!

P.P.S. Bob Uecker. That is all.

Quick Thoughts – Summer Round-Up, Part 5 of 5

Whew, we finally made it. The last bit of backlog left from the summer.

‘Best in Show’ (2000)

As far as I know, Woody Allen invented the comedic “Mockumentary” with ‘Take the Money and Run’ back in 1969, but it was Rob Reiner, Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer who took it to the next level with ‘This is Spinal Tap’ in 1984.

Christopher Guest writes, directs, and acts in this pastiche of dog shows, and the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in particular. Every Guest regular (Eugene Levy, et al.) is in the film, save for Harry Shearer, and everybody gets their moment to shine and give the audience a good laugh.

What makes movies like this so tremendous is that there’s not a single bit of written dialogue. Every line is improvised by the actors and the reactions are equally on-the-spot, like watching a bunch of great jazz musicians playing together. Not only that, but the details in this production’s design are spot on as well; I mean, I think the filmmakers pretty much had to put together a reasonable facsimile of a dog show in a real venue, which gives the movie a grounded sense of realism, even when the dialogue is getting over-the-top silly.

I can’t say if ‘Best in Show’ is the best of Guest, but it’s definitely worth seeing.

Rating: ★★★★☆

‘Maniac Cop 2’ (1990)

I can’t lie, I think this one got a little overhyped for me. People were saying it’s definitely better than the first ‘Maniac Cop’, but I don’t know. To me, both movies work fine as a continuous story, and seeing as how they’re both 90 minutes or less, you could easily watch them back-to-back in a single evening (I have yet to see the third installment, but will definitely check it out one of these days), but the first one has Tom Atkins, so, I’m hard pressed to say the sequel is superior.

‘Maniac Cop 2’ is pretty good for a late-80s B-horror flick, and, like its predecessor, an interesting time capsule for New York City, but it’s hardly any sort of required viewing in my opinion. The one sequence of particular note is the police station shootout, which rivals an analogous scene in ‘The Terminator’.

Performance-wise, Robert Davi is strong as usual, and Bruce Campbell and Laurene Landon do a fine job continuing their roles from the first movie.

Other than that, not much else to say.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

‘Above the Law’ (1988)

This isn’t the best Steven Seagal movie, but it is the first, which makes it somewhat important. It’s also the first of two collaborations between Seagal and director Andrew Davis, who would later reunite for arguably Seagal’s best movie, that being ‘Under Siege’.

‘Above the Law’ is far from perfect. Seeing it now, many of the performances come off as rather hackneyed, but, it does offer some quintessential Steven Seagal martial arts action, and some signature Seagal one-liners. My personal favorite: “Ever notice how clean babies smell? Like nothing in the world has touched them yet.”

‘Above the Law’ is also a very Chicago movie. Not only was it mostly shot on location in the Windy City, but every working Chicago actor of note is in the movie. You’ll recognize them from other movies such as ‘The Blues Brothers’, ‘Backdraft’, ‘The Fugitive’, even ‘The Dark Knight’.

If you’re a Steven Seagal fan, this one’s a must see; otherwise, it’s hit or miss.

Rating: ★★★☆☆