Tag: Will Patton

Movie Review – ‘Halloween’ (2018) – Kill It With Fire

Directed by David Gordon Green
Written by David Gordon Green, Danny McBride, & Jeff Fradley, based on characters created by John Carpenter & Debra Hill
Cast: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, Will Patton, Virginia Gardner, Nick Castle, James Jude Courtney, Jefferson Hall, Rhian Rees, Toby Huss, Haluk Bilginer, Dylan Arnold, Miles Robbins, Drew Scheid, Jibrail Nantambu
Soundtrack: Cody Carpenter, John Carpenter, & Daniel A. Davies

And you thought your favorite franchise had timeline issues?  (Looking at you, Star Trek.)

At the time, John Carpenter’s 1978 film Halloween was essentially a next-generation Psycho (right down to casting Janet Leigh’s daughter in the starring role, and having a character named Sam Loomis), but the movie’s financial and cultural success spawned hundreds of imitators in a rather short amount of time, creating the sub-genre known as the slasher film (of which the original Halloween is still among the most artfully done).

It was followed by a sequel in 1981 (the “year of the slasher”), Halloween II, itself followed by more sequels (4, 5, and 6; but not III, that’s totally unrelated).  Then, in 1998, there was Halloween H20, which is a sequel to I and II but ignores the continuity of 4, 5, and 6, which was itself followed by a sequel in 2002, Halloween: Resurrection (the subtitle du jour of the era).  What is this; the Godzilla franchise?

Now, this 2018 film is apparently a direct sequel to the 1978 original (the only one I’ve ever seen, which I suppose makes me the perfect guinea pig for this), ignoring all other sequels and continuity (which, by the way, doesn’t even include Rob Zombie’s Halloween I & II from 2007 and 2009, respectively).

So now that no one is confused, let’s talk David Gordon Green’s Halloween.

Without hyperbole, this is one of the worst movies (particularly of the contemporary variety) that I’ve seen in a long time.  Even going in with tempered expectations (and that’s being kind) I was still disappointed.  If you told me it was a fan film, I’d still be disappointed.

The story is inane, the characters are dreadful, the dialogue is laughable, the acting is poor, the logic is unfathomable, the tone is all of the cringiest moments from The Last Jedi for a hundred straight minutes, and, perhaps the greatest sin of all, as a sequel to a film that oozes atmosphere and visual style, there is none to be found here.

In a word: embarrassing.

I thought I’d seen the worst of Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy with the Robocop remake, but Halloween 2018 just might be the lowest of the low.  The only morsel of entertainment I got out of the film came from a child in a bit part (and even that was probably an accident).  Outside of that, there’s nothing satisfying; no suspense, no thrills, no comeuppance, nothing.

In all seriousness, no one should ever see this movie in any way, and the filmmakers should feel ashamed.

Rating: ½ star (out of five)

P.S.
At one point, a police officer says something to the effect of, “Michael Myers running around on October 31st?  That’s going to be a madhouse.  But what are we going to do, cancel Halloween?”

Uh, yeah, you cancel Halloween.  They postponed trick-or-treating where I live like three years in a row on account of unsafe weather conditions.  I’M SURE YOU’D DO THE SAME IF A SERIAL KILLER WAS ON THE LOOSE.

I hate this movie so much.

Quick Thoughts – Autumn Round-Up, Part 2

In November, I took a week’s vacation in Colorado, and I got to see a couple of classic movies at the Alamo Drafthouse in Littleton while I was out there.

After Hours (1985)

You know that Family Guy bit where Stewie keeps demanding Brian to name more songs named after girls?  If you did a similar exercise with movies directed by Martin Scorsese, I don’t imagine too many people would name After Hours.

Obscurity aside, the movie is essentially a version of Homer’s Odyssey played out over a night in SoHo.  All our protagonist (played by Griffin Dunne) wants is a little fun on a date with a girl he just met, and, once that fails, to just get home; but, despite all efforts, he can’t do it, and things only get worse as the night goes on.  It’s the sort of meandering story that you think you have figured out until you don’t.

Honestly, I liked the movie well enough once it was over, but I don’t really see myself revisiting it in the future.  I think I got more enjoyment out of spotting all the familiar faces (the cast is quite expansive) than the story itself, which is not to say I wouldn’t recommend it.

If you’re into darker comedies, New York-heavy movies, or are a Scorsese completionist, definitely give After Hours a whirl.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

 

The Shining (1980)

I’m sure I’ll take a lot of heat for this, but I think Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is vastly overrated.

Is the cinematography excellent?  Of course; that’s a Kubrick staple.

Is it sometimes successful at being legitimately creepy?  Yes.

Does it work overall as a movie?  No.

I don’t need to get into plot points or performances; I’m sure if you’re reading this then you’ve either seen the movie already or are familiar enough with it through cultural osmosis.

What it all comes down to is that the character of Jack Torrance (played by Jack Nicholson playing Jack Nicholson) as written and portrayed in this film begins the movie as a jerk, and ends the movie as a jerk.  Regardless of any involvement of supernatural forces, he is essentially the same character throughout, which is to say he effectively has no arc, and if he doesn’t have an arc, then there is no real tension, and what is horror without tension?

All of this is not to say Kubrick is not an all-time great filmmaker.  Clearly, he is.  It’s just that in this particular area, he’s not as effective as, say, Alfred Hitchcock.

Rating: ★★½