Classic Movie Treble – ‘Hudson Horror Show: March Madness’ – A Foggy Night in Yonkers

When I was a kid, I had something of a fascination with horror films, particularly classic ones, though I was too scared to actually watch most of them.  I used to check out books from the public library on the subject; then, when my family entered the internet age, I got all caught up on the Friday the 13th saga (fun fact: when I was in Boy Scouts, I spent a few weeks and many other weekends at the camp where they shot the original film, in Blairstown, NJ).  I suppose, on the one hand, I was drawn in by all of the craft that went into the gore and monster effects.  On the other hand, I always appreciated a good old-fashioned scary story.

Now, as an adult, I don’t usually go out of my way to watch horror films, especially contemporary ones (I don’t really like where the genre has gone to in recent years), but I do find them a lot of fun to watch with other people.  Perhaps more than any other genre, horror films increase in entertainment value the more people you have in the audience.

Thus, I found myself once again at the Alamo Drafthouse (Yonkers), this time for an abbreviated edition of the Hudson Horror Show.

Movie #1: Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Written and Directed by Robert Hiltzik
Cast: Mike Kellin, Katherine Kamhi, Paul DeAngelo, Felissa Rose, Frank Sorrentino
Soundtrack: Edward Bilous

I promise I will never, ever spoil the ending of this film for anyone, ever (unless they really just don’t care).  All I’ll ever say about it to those who’ve not seen it is that it’s definitely a shocker, and I’m not one that’s easily shocked.

This ain’t no ‘Ernest Goes to Camp‘; this ain’t no ‘Friday the 13th‘ either.  In fact, I’d argue that ‘Sleepaway Camp’ is more clever than anything in the ‘Friday’ series.  Most horror movies, regardless of budget, tend to ride in “scare the audience” mode for at least 90% of the runtime.  ‘Sleepaway Camp’ brings that down a few notches and actually has some good stretches that feel like a real movie about kids at camp, which gives is a lot of charm.

What I also find clever about it is that the first few deaths are made to look like accidents.  We as the audience know they’re not, but to the characters in the film they can at least be plausibly explained that way, which helps build the suspense, and makes the off-the-rails rampage of the third act that much wilder.  I also like the fact that while the movie does show off some impressive gore effects, it also knows when to leave things to your imagination (unlike most genre offerings today).

All in all, ‘Sleepaway Camp‘ is a must-see for fans of scary movies.  It’s a low budget slasher, for sure, but, as writer and director, Robert Hiltzik really elevates the material to a sum greater than that of its individual parts (having a twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan jealous certainly doesn’t hurt matters).  It’s also a great time capsule of the 1980s.  Makes me want to take a trip to Action Park.

Rating: ★★★★☆

There was an enlightening post-screening Q&A with actors Felissa Rose and Frank Sorrentino, as you can see in this blurry, pixelated photo:

Movie #2: The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)

Directed by Bill Rebane
Written by Richard L. Huff (original story and screenplay) & Robert Easton (screenplay)
Cast: Steve Brodie, Barbara Hale, Leslie Parrish, Alan Hale, Robert Easton

Have you ever heard a movie described as “so bad, it’s good”?

This is one of those movies.  A low-budget feature about giant spiders invading Wisconsin (of all places)

The most famous actor in this is Alan Hale, who played “The Skipper” on ‘Gilligan’s Island’ (and yes, his first line in the movie is, “Hi, little buddy!”).

I don’t really have to say much more than that, but I will.

What makes ‘The Giant Spider Invasion‘ a good-bad movie (as opposed to a bad-bad movie, which we’ll get to) is not only the camp factor of the acting and special effects (which are not technically great, but you have to give them credit for trying), but also just this consistent befuddlement factor.  At a certain point I lost track of how many times I asked “What?” while watching this movie, which is often a turn-off, but in this case it wasn’t, because it actually maintained my interest.  At different points I also hypothesized that it was a prequel to both ‘Interstellar’ and ‘Pacific Rim’.

So, yeah, if you’re in the mood for a so-bad-it’s-good movie, and you can somehow track it down, give this one a watch.  I highly recommend it.

Rating: ★★★½

Movie #3: Blood Beach (1981)

Directed by Jeffrey Bloom
Written by Jeffrey Bloom (story and screenplay) & Steven Nalevansky (story)
Cast: David Huffman, Marianna Hill, John Saxon, Stefan Gierasch, Burt Young
Soundtrack: Gil Melle

This ‘Jaws‘ rip-off (only without a sea creature) was by far the most star-studded affair of the night, and, unfortunately, the most disappointing.

I hate to make such a lame joke, but ‘Boring Beach’ is more like it.  People just walk out onto the shore for one reason or another and get sucked down into the sand (and a rapist gets his manhood bit off).  There’s no variety.  Every death scene basically looks the same, and, with the exception of John Saxon and Burt Young (as Sgt. Royko from Chicago; yeah, they didn’t just pick that name out of a hat), the characters are flat and uninteresting.  There’s a pseudo-love story that doesn’t get much traction, and the ending is only satisfying in the sense that the movie is finally over.  For a 90-minute B picture, it was horribly paced.  I felt like I’d been sitting there for well more than two hours by the time I got up.

And lastly, I’m all about waiting until you’ve got your creature effect down pat before showing it off, but ‘Blood Beach’ doesn’t even give you a tease until the very end.

Forget about this one.  Pay it no mind.  Go watch Tremors instead.

Rating: ★½

So, was ‘Hudson Horror Show: March Madness’ worth it?  Overall, yes.  I had a fun time, the hospitality from Alamo was good as usual, and the enthusiasm (at least until ‘Blood Beach’) was palpable.

And my “Bug Juice” was delicious.