Pumpkin Shandy – ‘Zombieland’ & ‘Zombieland: Double Tap’ – Everybody Wants Some!

Ordinarily, I might just go see Zombieland: Double Tap, enjoy myself, and not even bother writing a review, but it seems like a lot of people, even big fans of the original movie, aren’t that motivated to see the sequel, and I want to do my part to change that (’cause it’s not like Aquaman where it’ll make a billion dollars no matter what).

I’ll keep this all relatively brief, but, first of all, seeing these two films together was the most fun I’ve had at a double feature since I saw both volumes of Kill Bill on 35mm back in May (which may not seem like a great a length of time, but I go to the movies a lot).

I’m going to go ahead and say that I did not see the original Zombieland in theaters back in the day, because I simply have no memory of going, but I know for a fact that I absolutely ate it up on video (sometimes with proper accompanying snacks for a full taste-o-vision experience), and I’m happy to say that ten years later it still holds up in a big way. Is it the absolute perfection that Shaun of the Dead is? No, but, honestly, despite the fact that they’re both funny and have zombies in them, they’re very different movies, so maybe lay off that comparison, kids.

In re-watching 2009’s Zombieland, what I love most about it is that it’s not so quippy. Like, in another universe there’s a version that’s written and directed by, say, Joss Whedon, where everybody is so clever at every moment, and I would just hate it, but the dialogue in the original is just grounded enough for it to not feel ridiculous.

Secondly, the core four of Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin (at present, all Oscar-nominated and/or winning actors) are a joy to watch in both films, but especially the first one, given that it’s almost exclusively their show for the duration. There’s a real chemistry between them and they all help sell each scene for what it needs to be.

Now, right off the bat, I’ll say that Double Tap goes a little too far in a few places, as sequels are wont to do, but it’s nothing totally unforgivable, and by-and-large the movie is more of the same in a good way (and without relying all that much on blatant callbacks and references).

One factor that immediately distinguishes it from its predecessor is the introduction of more humans (sometimes for good, sometimes not-so-much); but the standout is Zoey Deutch, whose character could easily be extremely irritating if handled just slightly differently, but her performance is so committed that you have to respect it, and, in fact, pound-for-pound she might just garner the most laughs out of anybody.

Really though, what I appreciate most about both Zombielands is that they use the apocalyptic undead to make something entertaining. I don’t care if it’s frightful or funny or both, zombies should be used for entertainment first and foremost. Not for boredom.

So yeah, if you haven’t seen Zombieland in a while (or ever), give it a re-watch, and then go see Double Tap at your local movie house.

I promise you’ll have a good time (even if you didn’t care for Ruben Fleischer’s last movie).

Ratings:
Zombieland: ★★★★½
Zombieland: Double Tap: ★★★★☆


P.S.
Bill Murray stingers. That is all.

Movie Review – ‘Justice League’ – Avert Your Eyes

Directed by Zack Snyder
Written by Chris Terrio (story and screenplay), Joss Whedon (screenplay), and Zack Snyder (story)
Cast: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Gal Gadot, Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher, Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane, Connie Nielsen, J.K. Simmons, Ciarán Hinds (voice), Amber Heard, Joe Morton, Lisa Loven Kongsli, Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, Doutzen Kroes, Brooke Ence, Ann Ogbomo, Samantha Jo, Holt McCallany, Marc McClure
Soundtrack: Danny Elfman

Alternate title for this piece (or the movie): Why Can’t We Be [Super]friends?

I really shouldn’t even dignify this movie with anything resembling a full-length review, so I’ll try not to.

At no point in time did I ever have high hopes for this film, and in its wake I definitely don’t have high hopes for the DCEU as a whole.

Justice League is as big of a mess as Rogue One (if not more so).  The only difference for me personally is that I don’t have nearly as much emotional attachment to the property, so I’m not nearly as angry or disappointed, but I still have to call a turd a turd.

The biggest problem with Justice League is that it is approximately 4,657 movies in one (hyperbole intended).

It’s almost as if these characters should have starred in their own films before appearing all together.

You know?  Maybe build it up a little bit?

Why DC didn’t bite the bullet on this and instead attempted to microwave everything in order to “catch up” to Marvel is entirely beyond me.  I mean, despite being pilloried by the critics at nearly every turn, these movies are still somehow doing good business, couldn’t they have put in the effort to make them good, too?

Back to the subject at hand (though this is a franchise-wide issue), Justice League, in addition to having a myriad of elements (especially tones) that don’t quite fit together, has so many visuals that are just plain ugly to look at that I could hardly believe my eyes.  I may not be a film-making expert, but I do know that this was a two-hour movie that cost $300 million.  It should not look as bad as it does, and yet it does.

Now, I’ll admit, there were a few tiny bits and pieces here and there that I did find enjoyable about Justice League, but mostly I was either bored, or trying not to be sick.  Even if you’re somehow a DCEU completionist, this movie still isn’t worth your money to see theatrically.

It’s a mess.  An ugly, boring mess.

What more do I need to say?

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

P.S.
There are multiple stingers, because D.C. is now in full Marvel mode (they wish).

P.P.S.
Naturally, and as usual, thanks to Alamo Drafthouse for the cool glassware (which is better than the movie).