Directed by Patrick Hughes
Written by Tom O’Connor
Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, Salma Hayek, Elodie Yung, Joaquim de Almeida, Kirsty Mitchell, Richard E. Grant, Rod Hallett, Georgie Glen, Michael Gor, Tine Joustra, Sam Hazeldine, Alan McKenna, Joséphine de La Baume, Ori Pfeffer
Soundtrack: Atli Örvarsson
If you’ve ever wondered, “Whatever happened to the spirit of Cannon Films?” you need look no further than executive producer extraordinaire, Mr. Avi Lerner (NOT to be confused with Marvel’s Avi Arad; they are, in fact, different people).
Lerner got his start at Cannon in the mid-Eighties, and in the wake of Golan-Globus’s demise founded a new production company called Nu Image, which later gave birth to a subsidiary, Millenium Films, which later produced The Hitman’s Bodyguard.
Essentially, for better or worse (mostly worse), The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a modern day Cannon movie, just without the charm of having been shot on film thirty years ago (not to mention no Charles Bronson, Chuck Norris, or Michael Dudikoff).
Honestly, and maybe it’s just me, I associate Millenium FIlms with movies I get from Redbox, which is about what I’d rate The Hitman’s Bodyguard. It’s not the worst movie ever, there’s actually a decent percentage of elements I like, but its biggest problem is that it’s a bit of a Frankenstein’s monster: different parts assembled together but not truly fitting.
Film lovers often talk about the importance of tone and the consistency thereof, but it is possible for a movie to carry different tones and still work (e.g. Gremlins, which is legitimately funny at times and scary at others; see also: Ghost Busters), which I think this movie was trying to do, but it’s not very successful in that regard. I like to think that no subject is truly off limits for comedy, but it’s extremely difficult to reconcile scenes of a dictatorial war criminal with a serious tone with scenes of people flatulating (and other such cheap “humor”) with a farcical tone.
I know it’s downright unfair, but I couldn’t help but wonder how a filmmaker like Edgar Wright would handle this material (Midnight Run meets John Wick meets…Spy?). There’s enough juice in the concept, and even in the script, that it could have been something truly special, but the execution is just so middle-of-the-road (especially the score; it feels like an afterthought), despite the natural star-power of Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson.
Now, what did I think was good? Well, I actually enjoyed a lot of the action for action’s sake, which is extremely rare. The Amsterdam canal chase in particular gave me some Roger Moore-era James Bond 2.0 vibes, which I’m fine with. There’s a revealed backstory to Sam Jackson’s character that I thought was cool on its own (but doesn’t necessarily work in this movie). There’s also some song-based humor (a la Guardians of the Galaxy) that I thought was funny, but might not work for everyone. Lastly, I appreciated that the violence had a harder edge to it than a lot of other action movies these days, but again, I don’t know how appropriate it was in this movie.
So, there you have it. Personally, I was entertained enough that I give The Hitman’s Bodyguard just barely a passing grade, but it’s a long way from a full price recommendation. If you’re really curious, catch it at a matinee, or just wait for it to hit that Redbox.
You know, like all those other Millenium Films.
Rating: ★★★☆☆
P.S.
There’s no stinger, but there’s a long outtake at the end of the credits; if you’re still interested by then.
P.P.S.
I know I keep taking the piss out of Millenium FIlms, but The Iceman is actually a great little dark true crime movie.
