Salma Hayek – People Talking

In Defense of: ‘Wild Wild West’

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld
Written by Jim & John Thomas (story), S.S. Wilson & Brent Maddock and Jeffrey Price & Peter S. Seaman (screenplay)
Cast: Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek, M. Emmet Walsh, Ted Levine, Frederique Van Der Wal, Musetta Vander, Sofia Eng, Bai Ling, Garcelle Beauvais, Buck Taylor, Derek Mears
Soundtrack: Elmer Bernstein

(I mean, Steampunk is technically sci-fi, right?)

I’m not a Boomer, so I have no particular fealty to the Robert Conrad show of the 1960s, of which Wild Wild West is loosely inspired by (not unlike Mission: Impossible), but if the reason you don’t like this movie is because you feel it did the original show dirty, then there’s not much I can say to convince you otherwise (though I can definitely appreciate having passion for cherished properties).

On the contrary, I was a young lad at the time Wild Wild West was released, which I suppose put me at least on the outer edge of the target demographic (boy oh boy do I remember that song), although I did not see it theatrically (my mom’s a Robert Conrad fan, so she certainly had no impetus to take me). I’d catch bits and pieces here and there on cable, but I don’t think I fully sat down and watched it until a couple of years ago. Despite the film’s reputation as a bad movie, I have to say, I found it very entertaining, and seeing it on the big screen last year only affirmed my experience.

First of all, it’s directed by Barry Sonnenfeld (Men in Black), shot by Michael Ballhaus (Scorsese’s primary cinematographer from After Hours to The Departed), and has music by Elmer Bernstein (he scored a little movie called Ghost Busters), so, right off the bat, things can’t be all bad.

Secondly, I like the steampunk angle of it. Yes, not everything still holds up visually from 1999, and some things perhaps get a bit too silly, but, by and large, there are some really fun concepts that are well-executed, both large and smaller Q-gadget scale.

Third, I enjoy the playing around with history (after all, I was a history major). Admittedly, there are some uncomfortable tonal shifts (some may call them inconsistencies) in this area, but part of that is undoubtedly Sonnenfeld’s twisted sense of humor, which I’m mostly okay with. And, frankly, much of the subject matter is a little more relevant than some people may care to admit (dare I suggest, did Wild Wild West crawl so HBO’s Watchmen could sprint?).

Lastly, I actually like the performances. Obviously, Will Smith is Will Smith, you can take him or leave him, but Kevin Kline turns in a solid comedic performance, and, most importantly, Kenneth Branagh appropriately devours the scenery as the mustache-twirling Dr. Loveless. Overall, I get the impression that everyone knew they weren’t making high art, and allowed themselves to have fun with it, while still taking it seriously enough to not make it a farce.

It may not be a “great” movie. At the end of the day it may simply be big budget schlock (which I’m okay with), but more than anything else, Wild Wild West is fun, and that’s all I need it to be. I definitely recommend giving it another chance if it’s been a while since you’ve last seen it.

Rating: ★★★½ (out of five)

Movie Review – ‘The Hitman’s Bodyguard’ – Stuck in the Middle With You

Directed by Patrick Hughes
Written by Tom O’Connor
Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, Salma Hayek, Elodie Yung, Joaquim de Almeida, Kirsty Mitchell, Richard E. Grant, Rod Hallett, Georgie Glen, Michael Gor, Tine Joustra, Sam Hazeldine, Alan McKenna, Joséphine de La Baume, Ori Pfeffer
Soundtrack: Atli Örvarsson

If you’ve ever wondered, “Whatever happened to the spirit of Cannon Films?” you need look no further than executive producer extraordinaire, Mr. Avi Lerner (NOT to be confused with Marvel’s Avi Arad; they are, in fact, different people).

Lerner got his start at Cannon in the mid-Eighties, and in the wake of Golan-Globus’s demise founded a new production company called Nu Image, which later gave birth to a subsidiary, Millenium Films, which later produced The Hitman’s Bodyguard.

Essentially, for better or worse (mostly worse), The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a modern day Cannon movie, just without the charm of having been shot on film thirty years ago (not to mention no Charles Bronson, Chuck Norris, or Michael Dudikoff).

Honestly, and maybe it’s just me, I associate Millenium FIlms with movies I get from Redbox, which is about what I’d rate The Hitman’s Bodyguard. It’s not the worst movie ever, there’s actually a decent percentage of elements I like, but its biggest problem is that it’s a bit of a Frankenstein’s monster: different parts assembled together but not truly fitting.

Film lovers often talk about the importance of tone and the consistency thereof, but it is possible for a movie to carry different tones and still work (e.g. Gremlins, which is legitimately funny at times and scary at others; see also: Ghost Busters), which I think this movie was trying to do, but it’s not very successful in that regard. I like to think that no subject is truly off limits for comedy, but it’s extremely difficult to reconcile scenes of a dictatorial war criminal with a serious tone with scenes of people flatulating (and other such cheap “humor”) with a farcical tone.

I know it’s downright unfair, but I couldn’t help but wonder how a filmmaker like Edgar Wright would handle this material (Midnight Run meets John Wick meets…Spy?). There’s enough juice in the concept, and even in the script, that it could have been something truly special, but the execution is just so middle-of-the-road (especially the score; it feels like an afterthought), despite the natural star-power of Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson.

Now, what did I think was good? Well, I actually enjoyed a lot of the action for action’s sake, which is extremely rare. The Amsterdam canal chase in particular gave me some Roger Moore-era James Bond 2.0 vibes, which I’m fine with. There’s a revealed backstory to Sam Jackson’s character that I thought was cool on its own (but doesn’t necessarily work in this movie). There’s also some song-based humor (a la Guardians of the Galaxy) that I thought was funny, but might not work for everyone. Lastly, I appreciated that the violence had a harder edge to it than a lot of other action movies these days, but again, I don’t know how appropriate it was in this movie.

So, there you have it. Personally, I was entertained enough that I give The Hitman’s Bodyguard just barely a passing grade, but it’s a long way from a full price recommendation. If you’re really curious, catch it at a matinee, or just wait for it to hit that Redbox.

You know, like all those other Millenium Films.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

P.S.
There’s no stinger, but there’s a long outtake at the end of the credits; if you’re still interested by then.

P.P.S.
I know I keep taking the piss out of Millenium FIlms, but The Iceman is actually a great little dark true crime movie.

Movie Review – ‘Sausage Party’ – What’s the point?

Directed by Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon
Written by Kyle Hunter (screenplay) & Ariel Shaffir (screenplay) & Seth Rogen (screenplay and story) & Evan Goldberg (screenplay and story) & Jonah Hill (story)
Cast: Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader, Michael Cera, James Franco, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, Paul Rudd, Nick Kroll, David Krumholtz, Edward Norton, Salma Hayek, Sugar Lyn Beard, Anders Holm, Harland Williams
Soundtrack: Christopher Lennertz and Alan Menken

It would be a lie to say that ‘Sausage Party’ is completely lacking in creativity, as there are many imaginative visuals and a handful of jokes that are at least somewhat funny and clever.

However, and with respect to Tim League, it would also be a lie to say that ‘Sausage Party’ is “the ‘Blazing Saddles’ of our generation.” That’s a bit like comparing ‘Revenge of the Sith’ to ‘Citizen Kane’. Sure, ‘Blazing Saddles‘ has a lot of subversive commentary, but it’s nicely blended in to a [mostly] cohesive comedic story; it wasn’t a thinly-veiled effort at megaphoning a specific agenda (‘Blazing Saddles’ is also legitimately hilarious).

I feel a bit strange talking about this, because I rarely, if ever, get into discussion of messages in movies I review, but ‘Sausage Party’ has forced my hand.

Before we get to that though, let me first cover some standard ground.

The premise of ‘Sausage Party’ is that all of the food (along with some non-perishable items) at our local supermarket is alive, similar to the toys in ‘Toy Story’, and they await being chosen by us in order to enter the great beyond. The hard truth, of course, is that we just eat it, and it’s up to one brave sausage to shed light on this and take the humans down.

If this sounds like a comedy set-up that doesn’t resolve, it’s because it doesn’t; which makes the whole exercise rather pointless, which I guess is what the filmmakers were going for, which brings me back to my main point.

The “tl;dr” version of what ‘Sausage Party’ is really about is simply this: religion is stupid, and Stephen Hawking is our true savior. Not to mention that we should give in to every desire we have because moral constructs aren’t real. Sure, sometimes the movie randomly splashes into other topics, but by and large it does everything it can to hammer its true message home.

You’d think that ‘Sausage Party’ would be able to handle its social commentary more seamlessly because it’s a silly animated film, but, again, the core concept of the story is so nonsensical and unresolvable that it makes the real motive of the movie that much clearer. Honestly, it would work better as a series of non sequitur shorts, rather than trying to stretch it to a single feature-length film.

Ultimately, I don’t find ‘Sausage Party’ offensive because it’s offensive, I find it offensive because it’s so obvious, in addition to not being very funny. Honestly, I was in a full theater on opening night, and there wasn’t one moment where the entire audience erupted with laughter, so I know it’s not just me.

‘Sausage Party’ isn’t the worst film I’ve ever seen, there were some funny moments I liked here and there, but, as an entire movie, I absolutely cannot recommend it. It’s too juvenile and too crass without the intelligence to back it up, but worst of all it’s utterly transparent in its intentions.

There’s a big difference between wannabe smart and actually smart, kids.

Rating: ★½ (out of five)