Classic Movie Quinella – ‘RussellMania’: The Kurt Russell Marathon – Land of the Free

Another Super Bowl Saturday, another actor marathon at Alamo Drafthouse YonkersCaged, Stallone Zone, Van DammageBurt Day, ‘HEY, ARNOLD!‘, and now, RussellMania 2018.

I had sky high hopes for this one, but for the first time in attending these events, I actually left fairly disappointed.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Kurt Russell, I love my new hat, and I got to see four movies I had never seen before (which I do place a certain value on), but overall it just wasn’t quite the same enjoyable ride I’ve become accustomed to over the past five years.

The man himself needs no introduction though, so let’s get into these movies.

 

Movie #1: Tango & Cash (1989)

Right off the bat, I was wrong.

Seeing as how this film lead off Stallone Zone (click the link to read the Tango & Cash review), I figured there was no way we’d see it again here, but, as I said, I was wrong.

I will say, it was interesting watching it again as a Kurt Russell movie rather than a Stallone movie, but I don’t really have anything more to say now than I did in 2014.

Rating: ★★★★☆

 

Movie #2: Breakdown (1997)

I remember my cousin putting this on once at my aunt and uncle’s house, probably around the time it first hit DVD (which was technology beyond my imagination at the time), only I don’t think I watched past the first half hour or so, so I never realized until seeing it on the big screen that Breakdown turns into an action movie by the end (spoilers?).

Before that though, the movie feels extremely Hitchcockian, so much so that you could believe it’s a remake of something Hitch actually made (though to my knowledge it is not and I’ll happily give full credit to writer/director Jonathan Mostow).  The story’s simple enough (I’d actually make a gentle comparison to The Belko Experiment, just in terms of imagining yourself in the same situation), and it doesn’t fall into the trap of becoming too twisty, which I appreciated.

Ultimately, it comes down to personal taste as to whether or not the third act works for you.  I’m okay with it, but I understand others feeling somewhat betrayed by it.

Either way though, I’d still say it’s solid.

Rating: ★★★½

 

Movie #3: Used Cars (1980)

Before Bob Zemeckis and Bob Gale made one of the greatest movies of all time (review here), they had a string of less successful endeavors (I Wanna Hold Your Hand, 1941), culminating with 1980’s Used Cars (although they did write one of my favorite episodes of Kolchak: The Night Stalker).

Used Cars isn’t great, and its definitely a touch bloated, but it’s not without its charms.  For one thing, it’s Kurt’s first R-rated performance, which is interesting to see at odds with his still-lingering Disney good guy persona, and it’s got Jack Warden doing some classic one-actor-playing-twin-brothers schtick, and a good amount of the satirical humor still holds up today.

It also hearkens back to a time when comedy wasn’t strictly a bargain basement genre and studios weren’t afraid to throw in a little more production value when necessary, even for an non-family friendly comedy.

Not everybody will fully enjoy Used Cars because it’s such a product of its time, but for me, that’s why I found it interesting and why I’d give it another watch someday.

Rating: ★★★½

 

Movie #4: Executive Decision (1996)

Speaking of the kinds of movies that don’t get made anymore, let’s talk Executive Decision (which is one I was hoping for, for better or worse).

Stuff like this just has a certain je ne sais quoi that feels missing from Hollywood of the present (the fact that it was made pre-9/11 definitely has something to do with that).  It’s not like we have a dearth of action movies these days, but Executive Decision takes itself seriously in both story and tone where a movie today would have a wink and a nod (it’s no surprise that the last similar example I can think of, Behind Enemy Lines, was also a story by Jim and John Thomas).

I think it’s fair to say that Kurt plays against type here, at least relative to the “action man” roles he was known for at the time, but, even in a lame tuxedo and nerdy spectacles, he’s still cooler than we could ever dream of being.

“All-star cast” may be a stretch (it’s no Airport ’77), but, at the time, Executive Decision certainly had a mix of experienced pros and hot up-and-comers (most notably Halle Berry).  Given that it’s a 90s action movie, I’ll say everyone does a fine job.

That said, let’s call it what it is, “Die Hard on a plane.”

Still worth a watch though, just get comfortable.

Rating: ★★★½

 

Movie #5: Escape from L.A. (1996)

This is not how I wanted the day to end.

I don’t want to merely compare this movie to Escape from New York, but I don’t think it leaves you with much of a choice.

Honestly, Escape from L.A. is depressingly bad in comparison to its predecessor.  New York was a low-budget underdog that managed to find an audience and punch a bit above its weight class.  It stands on its reputation more so than its actual quality, but at the same time it was a fairly progressive movie in terms of film-making, what with the use of the Panaglide (an early “cousin” of the Steadicam) and new techniques that allowed Dean Cundey to shoot many city blocks deep using only streetlamps for lighting; not to mention how the film allowed Kurt Russell to truly pivot away from his Disney comedy roots.

On the other hand, L.A. is essentially The Asylum version of New York, with a copy-and-paste script, horrendous CGI effects, and terribly cheesy performances.  In fact, the only element you can point to as being better than the original is the fact that they shot a scene at the real L.A. Coliseum, but the movie is still so terrible that it doesn’t even matter.

Escape from L.A. is awful, it was rightfully a box office bomb, and if you truly love Escape from New York, you should never ever watch it.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

 

So, there you have it.  Not the best day, but definitely not all bad.  Just kind of middling, and therefore not what I expected given Kurt’s body of work.

I guess they can’t all be winners.

 

This hat though, this hat is a winner.

Classic Movie Quinella – ‘HEY, ARNOLD!’: A Schwarzenegger Marathon – See You At The Party

Since the doors first opened in August of 2013, Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers has hosted four fantastic actor-centric marathons: Caged, Stallone Zone, Van Dammage, and Burt Day (aka Cristina Cacioppo‘s Westchester curtain call).

Enter 2017.  New Year.  New programmer.  New marathon.

Lovingly curated by Justin LaLiberty, “Hey, Arnold!” was an epic half-day celebration consisting of five mystery Schwarzenegger films, all on 35mm prints, spanning ten years of the prime of his career (and sparking such debates as “Which Arnold is better: beard or no beard?”  …Actually, that’s not a debate at all.  Bearded Arnold is clearly superior).

And if that weren’t enough, there was, in fact, a giant cake (which was delicious, by the way) to celebrate his upcoming 70th birthday, among other surprises.

At this point, the man himself needs little introduction, so let’s jump in.

 

Movie #1: ‘True Lies’ (1994)

It sounds weird to say because he’s been so influential (for better or worse), but, since his directorial debut in 1981 (which he’d rather you forget), James Cameron has put only eight feature films under his belt, which makes the fact that Arnold has starred in three of them even more significant.  Frankly, I’d say True Lies is the last Cameron movie worth watching, but that’s a different discussion.

This was the longest film of the day (and second longest of Arnold’s career, behind T2), which was good, because when you’re stuck to your seat for ten hours, you’d rather get the biggest chunk out of the way first.

Anyway, True Lies is a movie I’ve seen the third act of perhaps dozens of times, as it was a cable staple of the 2000s, so it was definitely worth seeing in it’s entirety, as there was much I either didn’t remember or straight up hadn’t seen (like the fact that a good chunk of the move is in Washington D.C.).

A remake of the 1991 French hit La totale ! (which I totally did not learn just now), True Lies is a top notch 90s action thriller that’s also unafraid of laying the comedy on thick.  I particularly enjoy the long, slow push-ins on Arnold’s steely eyes when he knows something the person he’s talking to does not.  It’s also a surprisingly grounded film given its over the top nature.  Honestly, the only element that took me out of the movie was the fact that Charlton Heston’s character had a patch over his obviously scarred eye, as if he walked in from the set of a different movie.

Really though, the magic of True Lies, other than the action set-pieces and ‘splosions, is that just about everyone in the cast is used appropriately, from Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis, to Tia Carrere and Art Malik, to Tom Arnold (fantastic in this) and the now late (sadly) Bill Paxton, everyone’s playing a part they can easily dive into.

It may not be the biggest and baddest Arnold movie in terms of a testosterone-fueled thrill ride, but it’s a very good action/comedy that a lot of people can appreciate (and that doesn’t even include the one-liners [Spoiler]).

Rating: ★★★★☆

 

Movie #2: ‘The Running Man’ (1987)

Ah, the far, distant, post-apocalyptic future of 2017!

You won’t hear me say The Running Man is bad, because it’s not.  It’s got a solid backbone of a Steven E. de Souza script (just look up his resume; it’s ridiculous), and a cast that’s chock-full of great character actors and action men.  I just can’t help but wonder if the movie could have been something more with a more visionary director at the helm.  Not that I blame Paul Michael Glaser.  Reportedly, producer Rob Cohen went through four other directors (including Andrew Davis, who got production off the ground but quickly went over budget and behind schedule; and who later would direct Arnold in Collateral Damage) before hiring Glaser to basically just get the movie done.

The final product of The Running Man is still eminently entertaining and audience-pleasing, even if not every visual concept works perfectly (it also receives bonus points for giving us some bearded Arnold, if only briefly).  Arnold is great, the rogues gallery is great, and the casting of Richard Dawson as an evil version of himself is a move that feels years ahead of its time (you could argue the movie stands on his shoulders more than anyone else; not to mention it leads to one of my favorite incidental lines from Aqua Teen Hunger Force).

The Running Man may not be an all-time great piece of science fiction (like another movie we’ll get to), but it’s no less influential (Hunger Games, anyone?), and, above all, it’s fun, especially with an audience.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Just before The Running Man started we all received one of these glasses, which was a generous and welcome surprise:

 

Movie #3: ‘Kindergarten Cop’ (1990)

This movie’s something of a miracle.

I mean, I don’t know about you, but if you pitched me Kindergarten Cop, a comedy/action film starring Arnold as an undercover police officer posing as a substitute kindergarten teacher (who has no experience) in order to track down the estranged family of a fugitive criminal, I’d tell you straight up that this concept has failure written all over it.

And yet, somehow, it works.

How much credit should go to whom, I don’t know, but given Ivan Reitman’s track record with Ghost Busters, wrangling that film together from three or four disparate creative visions, I’m going to bet he gets the lion’s share.

Anyway, Kindergarten Cop isn’t perfect.  It’s a bit uneven and a bit clunky at times (understandable given the elements it’s trying to hammer together), but, what little action there is is well executed, the comedy mostly works, and, again, it gets bonus points for some bearded Arnold action.

Frankly, the film’s biggest strength is that it never goes completely over the top (except maybe when Pamela Reed suddenly puts on an Austrian accent to maintain cover, but that’s not unforgivable).  There’s enough subtlety and realism in the plot, the characters, and, especially, the children, to hold everything together when a different movie would just come unglued.

It wasn’t my favorite of the day, but I’ll be less inclined to flip the channel on it in the future.

Rating: ★★★½

 

Movie #4: ‘Eraser’ (1996)

The world of film is not without its binary planets that eventually spin off onto different trajectories.  For example, the Coen Brothers collaborated with Sam Raimi earlier in their careers, but it was they, not Raimi, who went on to near-constant critical acclaim in the proceeding decades.

Similarly, Frank Darabont began his career writing with Chuck Russell, but it was he, not Russell, who went onto direct such films as The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, whereas Chuck went on to direct The Mask.  Not that we have anything against Chuck Russell, because he also went on to direct a little movie called Eraser.

Every Alamo Drafthouse actor-centric marathon features at least one movie that throws people for a loop, and I’m going to say Eraser is the left field pick in this case, if for no other reason than one of my friends and I had completely discounted it as a possibility (mostly on account of the CGI reptiles).

However, I have to say, Eraser earned its keep.

It may not have been the best movie of the day, nor the best movie of Arnold’s career, but Eraser has a lot going for it.  Good villains, solid supporting characters, and enough mid-Nineties action to keep you going for a couple of hours.  Whatever elements that haven’t aged well are smoothed over by a rather impressive top-to-bottom cast (including James Caan, James Coburn, and James Cromwell, just to name a few) all putting in solid shifts.

It’ll hurt your brain if you think about it too hard, but, like most of Arnold’s movies, if you’re down for a fun ride, Eraser delivers.

Rating: ★★★½

 

Movie #5: ‘Total Recall’ (1990)

This film was the pièce de résistance, both for the day itself and for me personally, as I’d never seen it before.

Paul Verhoeven as a filmmaker (and perhaps in his life in general) is nothing if not provocative (I mean, if you haven’t seen Elle…it’s provocative), though, by his own standards, Total Recall may be his least provocative movie (you know, outside of all the horrific gore).

What Total Recall is, however, is an extremely successful sci-fi/action film; an all-time great, in my frank opinion.  I won’t claim to be an expert, but it’s generally accepted that Philip K. Dick is a difficult writer to translate from page to screen (e.g. Blade Runner‘s 10,000 different versions), but I’m going to take an educated guess that Total Recall is the best filmed adaptation of his work (or at the very least in the running for such an honor).

In all seriousness though, this is a big, bad, beautiful movie, full of amazing visuals (shot in Mexico, which worked well for Arnold before), bloody violence, and a wry sense of humor, while also featuring a good hard sci-fi story with plenty of twists and turns.  Total Recall is also a touch philosophical, asking the question of what makes us who we are, which I appreciate.

Naturally, of course, there’s more than a few familiar faces from Verhoeven’s other work (most notably Ronny Cox, Sharon Stone, and Michael Ironside).

On the one hand, I don’t know why it took me so long to see this one, but, on the other, I’m glad I got to see it for the first time in the same way everybody else did nearly three decades ago.

It’s a real treasure.

Rating: ★★★★½

 

So, that’s it; that’s all.  A great day all around.

Thanks again to Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers for hosting and Justin LaLiberty for curating, and to all the servers, runners, cooks, and bartenders who took care of all of us in the audience.  My “Mind Eraser” cocktail (whatever was in it) was quite enjoyable.

Unlike in the past, we know what next year’s marathon will be, and I couldn’t be more excited: Russellmania, here we come!

Classic Four-Play: ‘Stallone Zone’ – Good Old American Action

Stallone Zone

I’ve made no secret of my love for Alamo Drafthouse [Yonkers].  In the past year it has become one of my favorite places to trek to (I do have to cross a big important river to get there), especially for classic films and classic film marathons (except for that time I totally bombed trying to underplay a Nic Cage impression, but c’est la vie), not to mention great food and drink.

Again I say, if you have one near you and you’ve not been there. you’re doing yourself a disservice.  Go check it out at your earliest convenience.

Anyway, if you haven’t realized it by now, my latest excursion there (now more than two weeks ago; hurray for expediency) was for Stallone Zone, a marathon of four surprise movies starring (if not also written and directed by) Sylvester Stallone (all on glorious 35mm prints), curated by Drafthousers Cristina Cacioppo (who chose the films) and Austin hipster-type Greg MacLennan (who brought the prints, and many other wonderful visual goodies).

Now, let’s be real, you have to be in a certain mindset to truly enjoy a typical Stallone movie, and I’m perfectly fine going there, because I like having a good time.  Stallone represents escapist entertainment at its adrenaline-fueled peak.  Quite frankly, Stallone Zone was probably the most fun I’ve had in one day so far this year, and that’s the honest truth; and myself and all the friends I brought can’t wait to see what’s on tap for the next Drafthouse marathon.

But, I digress.  On to the movies.  These’ll be a bit shorter than my typical reviews since I have almost a handful to get through, not to mention there’s probably not much meaningful prose I can add after 20+ years.

Movie #1: Tango & Cash (1989)

Directed by Andrei Konchalovsky [and Albert Magnoli (Uncredited)]
Written by Randy Feldman
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri Hatcher, Jack Palance, Brion James, James Hong, Marc Alaimo, Philip Tan, Michael J. Pollard, Robert Z’Dar, Lewis Arquette, Edward Bunker, Michael Jeter, Clint Howard, Adolfo ‘Shabba-Doo’ Quinones, Glenn Morshower, Billy Blanks, Geoffrey Lewis
Soundtrack: Harold Faltermeyer

How serious Russian filmmaker Andrei Konchalovsky ever got involved with this project (more on Russian cinema later), the world may never know, because this is action-comedy at it’s finest.  I dare say this movie is proto-Hot Fuzz, because it’s definitely not a parody, but it knows what it is and makes no apologies for never getting too, too serious.

Stallone wonderfully plays against type as the uptight and slightly foppish Ray Tango while Kurt Russell does his usual thing with a little more lightheartedness as the fast and loose (if not downright slovenly) Gabriel Cash.  Throw in Jack Palance (and his lovely mice…over and over so you don’t forget) as your main villain and a whole tanker-truckload of snappy one-liners, and you’ve got a recipe for some big, burly laughs and a lot of [occasionally over-the-top and] enjoyable action.

I had watched this movie only once before, and I was surprised at how much I had forgotten about, but was delighted to see again.  I don’t know if John J.B. Wilson people had less of a sense of humor about themselves in 1989-90, because this movie was panned enough at the time to earn three Razzie nominations, but who cares about that now?  I certainly don’t.

★★★★☆ (Remember, this is an action-comedy.)

Movie #2: Paradise Alley (1978)

Written and Directed by Sylvester Stallone
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Lee Canalito, Armand Assante, Frank McRae, Anne Archer, Kevin Conway, Terry Funk (yes, THAT one), Tom Waits (yes, THAT one), Joe Spinell, Frank Pesce, Frank Stallone
Soundtrack: Bill Conti

If you go to a Drafthouse marathon like Caged or Stallone Zone, you can always count on at least one really obscure pick, and this time it was Paradise Alley.  I don’t want to say too much about this film in terms of the plot, as I’d suggest you just watch it to check it out, but this movie is so Stallone that he even sings the theme song.  Apparently this was actually the first movie he wanted to make,  but it wasn’t something he could get financing for until after Rocky was a raving success.

The basic premise is that three brothers in post-WWII Hell’s Kitchen are scraping their way through life (this is the first half of the film, and I won’t lie, it’s a little bit tedious at times, but it’s worth it and it does make sense from a dramatic and narrative perspective), until finally they get an opportunity to make some real money by working together.

This is another role where Stallone plays against his usual type in the sense that his character isn’t really likable, but don’t worry, there’s a bit of an arc.  Honestly though, as Stallone-centric as this movie is, it’s the supporting cast that really makes it, particularly Armand Assante in his first major film role.  The dynamic dynamic of the three brothers is crucial, but the menagerie of other characters is also a big help to making the story and the compact world it’s set in come alive.

It’s not a perfect film by any stretch, but I do recommend Paradise Alley, if only based on the strength of its second half (which is much more action-packed).

★★★½

Movie #3: Demolition Man (1993)

Directed by Marco Brambilla
Written by Peter M. Lenkov and Robert Reneau (Screenplay and Story), and Daniel Waters (Screenplay)
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, Nigel Hawthorne, Benjamin Bratt, Bob Gunton, Rob Schneider (Uncredited), Denis Leary, Jesse Ventura (Bit Part), Jack Black (Bit Part), Glenn Shadix, Grand L. Bush, Steve Kahan, Troy Evans, Don Charles McGovern, Bill Cobbs
Soundtrack: Elliot Goldenthal

So, this is a very interesting movie, because it’s a popcorn action flick built upon the framework of a really solid science fiction premise (I suppose Robocop would be another good example, though Paul Verhoeven’s satire is much more biting).  Some people might say the future is played too cheesy here, and, yeah, it goes a little too far with that at times, but on the whole the fact that it seems off-putting actually works in the movie’s favor, because you’re seeing things through the eyes of our primary characters; and let’s face it, if you suddenly woke up 36 years into the future, you’d probably think everything and everybody was pretty weird.

From a visual perspective, obviously the action scenes are great (the opening sequence leaves quite an impression), but the overall look and feel of the future is very well done, and still holds up pretty well 20+ years later (except for all the Oldsmobile references, but, you know that?  Go watch 2001 or 2010 again and try to hate on them in the same way; yes, I just compared those to Demolition Man).

This movie has another great pairing of stars as well, except unlike Tango & Cash, Stallone is up against Snipes in this one, and there’s pretty strong action hero/villain chemistry between them, not to mention some good old-fashioned fish-out-of-water comedy.

Not much else to say about this one; just classic 90s action.

★★★½ Stars
(★★★★★ for the sweet S.A.P.D. hats we all got as part of the package)

This picture is what you call a “segue”.

Movie #4: Rocky IV (1985)

Written and Directed by Sylvester Stallone
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Brigitte Nielsen, Tony Burton, Dolph Lundgren, James Brown (yes, THAT one), Michael Pataki
Soundtrack: Vince DiCola

Forget Ronald Reagan.  Rocky Balboa was the man who single-handedly defeated Communism.

Whatever you think you know about this film, you really haven’t seen it unless you’ve watched it on the big screen with a pumped-up group of fans.  By this point in the day (it was well into the night actually), the Stallone Zone audience was so into everything that the festivities were less like a film screening, and more like a live concert, with the crowd cheering for every fan favorite and greatest hit.  A couple of my friends and I were even doing air toms during one of the famous training montages.

Speaking of montage, there are no less than five montages in this film (you easily lose count after a while).  Maybe it’s as simple as Stallone wanting to play tastemaker because he really liked the bands on the soundtrack, but in the absence of a thorough explanation, I offer a radical hypothesis:

Perhaps Stallone is such a proficient student of film that he used the opportunity of a movie where his character fights a big Russian in “the heart of the Soviet Union” to pay tribute to early Russian cinema, as montage editing was pioneered in the late 1910s and 1920s by Soviet filmmakers Lev Kuleshov and Sergei Eisenstein.

Or maybe that’s all wrong.  It doesn’t matter.

Rocky IV is great because it makes you feel great, and if you don’t like it, you hate America.  End of story.

Ⅳ out of Ⅴ Stars.

 

Hearts on Fire, baby.