Ted Raimi – People Talking

Quick Thoughts – Winter Round-Up

Winter is cold, but luckily most movie theaters have heat. Although it’s basically Summer now, so…

To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)

If you ever played the Grand Theft Auto games Vice City and San Andreas and ever wondered what was going on in the latter during the events of the former, then To Live and Die in L.A. is the movie for you.

Another underrated William Friedkin special to go alongside 1977’s Sorcerer, To Live and Die in L.A. delves into the true calling of the U.S. Secret Service: cracking down on counterfeit cash.

William Petersen (now of CSI fame) plays a Secret Service agent determined to take down a notorious counterfeiter who killed his partner, and he’s going to bring him in BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Similar to last year’s Man From U.N.C.L.E., what Live and Die lacks in substance, it [mostly] makes up with style, including a sensationally 80s score composed by none other than Wang Chung, as well as the usual William Friedkin hallmarks: gorgeous photography, profanity, and an insane car chase, not to mention some well done foot chases to boot. It’s also great to see actors like Willem Dafoe and John Turturro before they hit it big.

Honestly, it might be more of an interesting time capsule than outright entertaining, but it’s still a gem more than worth pursuing.

Rating: ★★★★☆

The Iron Giant (1999)

I’m rather ashamed to admit that I was asleep to this movie for a very long time (not entirely my fault, apparently, as Warner Bros. grossly mishandled the initial marketing). I mean, I’d heard of it, I’d seen part of it on TV, but I’d never given it a proper viewing.

After having seen it on the big screen, I’m willing to put it among the best films of the past 20 years.

Directed by Brad Bird (who has since directed The Incredibles and Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, which are both fantastic), The Iron Giant is the story of an unlikely friendship between a lonely young boy and a massive robot from another world (voiced by Vin Diesel in a proto-Groot performance), the lengths they go to in order to keep everything secret (especially from a government agent voiced by Christopher McDonald, in arguably his most nefarious role), and one teaching the other what it means to be human (or “not a gun”). Beyond that, it’s a beautiful and thought-provoking 1950s period piece with deep emotional resonance (so many tears), but still enough laughs to balance it out.

In many ways, The Iron Giant is the kind of “family film” that we don’t see too much of anymore, in that it deals with actual issues (life, death, loss, sacrifice, etc.) and puts the characters in real danger. Perhaps the closest recent comparison would be Big Hero 6, although it’s not nearly as charming as Giant.

If you’ve never seen it or haven’t watched it in a while, go ahead and put a pre-order in for the Signature Edition, to be released on home format on September 6th. You won’t regret it.

Rating: ★★★★★

The Evil Dead (1981) & Evil Dead II (1987)

I can see how someone could watch these movies and think, “You know, that Bruce Campbell, he’s got some acting chops; I like his charisma.”

I’m less sure how someone could watch these movies and think, “You know, that Sam Raimi, he’s got some directing chops; let’s hand him a huge comic book franchise.”

Now, perhaps there are other Sam Raimi movies that I just haven’t seen that are actually worth my time, but I’m not impressed by what I’ve witnessed so far.

I know there is much debate as to which is better, The Evil Dead or its first sequel. For me, I prefer the original, because it does take itself seriously, and the attempts at horror slapstick in Evil Dead II don’t do anything for me. Either way though, I don’t have any plans to revisit one or the other. Labors of love as they may be, I just don’t get the cult surrounding them.

If you’re not already drinking the Evil Dead Kool-Aid, I don’t recommend it. There’s plenty of other stuff in the genre worth looking at.

Dual Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Quick Thoughts – Summer Round-Up, Part 4 – Exhumed Films: Guilty Pleasures Marathon, Part II

What better way to spend a beautiful summer Saturday than cramming yourself into a dark theater all day to watch five really obscure movies?
I don’t know!
But, thanks to the wonderful folks at Exhumed Films and Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers, I was able to spend August 22, 2015 in a state of B-movie bliss.

Now, Exhumed Films is an apt name for a company that can dig up prints of such gems as I’m going to discuss (and they’re all definitely guilty pleasures). These five movies are, in fact, so rare that I couldn’t even find trailers for them online, at least not in English (you’ll honestly have an easier time finding the full movies on YouTube, but you didn’t hear that from me). Even the IMDb entries are largely incomplete.

Enough jibber jabber. Let’s talk some schlock.

Movie #1: ‘Radioactive Dreams’ (1985)
01 - Radioactive Dreams

‘Hard-boiled detective Film Noir’ meets ‘post-apocalyptic [and sometimes cannibalistic] Science Fiction’ meets ‘fish-out-of-water Comedy’ in this ambitious but not entirely successful effort from, as RedLetterMedia‘s Jay Bauman would say, “schlock auteur” Albert Pyun.

John Stockwell and Michael Dudikoff (who I both really like in this, even if it’s in kind of a hammy way) play Phillip and Marlowe, two lads left in a bunker at the outbreak of World War III (and, yes, it’s a nuclear war), left to educate themselves, apparently in the ways of the 1940s. Upon finding a way to finally break out into the outside world, they discover that what was once a lush green landscape is now a desolate wasteland, filled with mutants, gangs, and one particularly suspicious woman, who accidentally leaves them with the launch keys to the last nuclear missile, thus setting the plot in motion (whoever controls the nuke, controls the “world”).

I don’t know for sure, but I think ‘Radioactive Dreams’ was both the longest and biggest-budgeted movie of the day, but it wasn’t the most overall entertaining. It starts with momentum and finishes with momentum, but the middle section drags quite a bit.

Even so, I’d say it’s worth checking out at least once. As I said, it doesn’t hit on everything, but I appreciate its ambition (especially relative to its modest budget), and it’s got some nice laughs, particularly if you’re familiar with those “private dick” movies of old.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Movie #2: ‘Gang Wars’ aka ‘Devil’s Express’ (1976)

My compatriots for the day didn’t really like this one, but I thought it was one of the most entertaining bad movies I’ve ever seen.

The plot is crazy, but I’ll try to sum it up the best I can.

A long time ago. somewhere in China, a group of monks defeated a demon, put it in a box (or something), and put it at the bottom of a cave; the monks then commit ritual suicide in order to protect the whereabouts of this evil demon. Hard cut to present-day (that is, 1970s) New York. An afro-sporting kung-fu instructor (Warhawk Tanzania) flies out to China, along with his friend, to finish his own training to be certified as a Master. One day, while our hero is meditating, his friend wanders off and finds the secret location, taking the box for himself and unwittingly unleashing the evil force within. The demon then somehow possesses a random Chinese gentleman and boards a boat bound for New York. After arriving in Manhattan, the demon finds a nice refuge in the Subway, and that’s when things start to get really bloody.

One aspect that elevates ‘Gang Wars’ is the location that is mid-70s NYC, and I don’t mean in a guerrilla filmmaking sort of way, because reportedly the production got all the permits they needed, despite the low budget (instant production value!).

Other than that, the kung fu fighting scenes are hilariously awkward, we’ve got a cameo from Brother Theodore as a priest (improvising ridiculousness, as usual), and just a whole host of funny-bad moments, in addition to some nice, crafty practical effects.

Loads of fun, if you’ve got a group.

Rating: ★★★½

Movie #3: Redneck Miller (1976)

There are no “good guys” in ‘Redneck Miller’. Only antagonists and a nominal protagonist.

I say this because our presumable hero, radio disc jockey Redneck Miller, is a real scumbag himself. No need to explain why, but if you see the film, it’ll be as plain as day to you (let’s just say the hapless henchmen aren’t the only boobs on the screen).

The movie starts out with the thieving of a drug pick-up by a guy on a very unique motorcycle, who then, after making his getaway, returns the motorcycle to its rightful owner, none other than Redneck Miller. Needless to say, eventually the people whose drugs were stolen find the motorcycle, start harassing Miller, and Miller must find the real thief and clear his name before he or anyone else is dead meat.

I’ve seen some examples of exploitation cinema in my time, but this might be the most exploitative I’ve come across yet. It was entertaining enough for me, but not everyone shared that opinion.

Take it or leave it.

Rating: ★★½

Movie #4: ‘Nightmare at Shadow Woods’ aka ‘Blood Rage’ (1987)

Now we’re talking. This was the most entertaining movie of the day for me.

‘Nightmare at Shadow Woods’ is the story of twin brothers Terry and Todd, one of whom kills a pair of teenage lovers at a drive-in movie and successfully blames it on the other, forcing the innocent one to be committed to an institution. Fast forward about ten years (one of the boys is in college) to Thanksgiving and one of the boys has broken out of the asylum, which spurs the other one to go on a killing spree to presumably blame the other brother again.

I have to say, the unquestionable centerpiece of this film is Mark Soper, who plays the adult Terry/Todd. He gives the roles a real dichotomy, and I had no trouble believing it was two different characters. And he really sinks his teeth into playing the bad twin, I mean he is killing people and wisecracking like Will Smith in a alien movie, and I loved it, because I like to have fun watching low-budget slasher movies.

It’s a rare find, but if you can locate it, ‘Nightmare at Shadow Woods’ makes for great “scary movie night” fare (or if you’re looking for one of the only movies set at Thanksgiving).

Rating: ★★★★☆

Movie #5: ‘Ninja Busters’ (1984)

It may not have been my favorite of the day, but ‘Ninja Busters’ was by far the biggest treat, because this movie is so rare that it didn’t even get a proper release when it was supposed to, thirty years ago.

It’s a buddy comedy about two down-on-their-luck guys who join a karate school with the intention of picking up girls, and eventually they become black belts and get mixed up with some criminals and ninjas.

In real-life, most of the movie’s prominent characters were respected martial artists, and one of two leads, Sid Campbell, actually wrote the script. He’s very good in the film as well; for someone without much on-screen experience, I found him to be a very natural comedic actor, and he gives the movie a lot of heart.

You can read the director’s account of how it was made, unreleased, and then found again on his blog. It’s quite a story, and I look forward to being able pick up ‘Ninja Busters’ on Blu-Ray.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Well, there you have it. A whole day’s worth of low budget charm. Kudos again to Exhumed Films and Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers for putting it together.

I look forward to “Guilty Pleasures Marathon, Part III” in 2016 (although Part II might be tough to beat, honestly).

Classic Four-Play: ‘Van Dammage’ – There Is No Substitute

As a lover of movies in the Greater New York Metro Area, the only thing I love more than actually going to the Alamo Drafthouse [Yonkers] is going to movie marathons at the Alamo Drafthouse; and why shouldn’t I? I’ve tasted three flavours of blood and ice cream. I’ve seen a man Caged. I’ve been to the Stallone Zone and lived to tell about it.

So, when they announced that the next such action-packed marathon was going to feature the incomparable JCVD, I naturally bought ten tickets and invited nine other friends to attend. I mean, how else are you supposed to heat up January? It’s not like there’s anything good playing.

Now, I have to admit, before attending the marathon last Saturday (once again curated by Alamo’s Cristina Cacioppo and Greg MacLennan, whose love of Van Damme is so real I could actually feel it), I’d never actually seen a Jean-Claude Van Damme film, at least not in its entirety. I’m sure I’ve caught bits and pieces of things on cable over the years, but I’d never actually sat down and watched one from beginning to end, and I’d definitely never seen one in a theater before, so I was very excited; and, for the most part, my excitement was justified.

Let’s talk about these movies!

Movie #1: Sudden Death (1995)

Directed by Peter Hyams
Written by Karen Elise Baldwin (Story) and Gene Quintano (Screenplay)
Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Powers Boothe, Raymond J. Barry, Whittni Wright, Ross Malinger, Dorian Harewood, Kate McNeil, Michael Gaston, Audra Lindley, Brian Delate, Brian Hutchison, Diane Robin, Rohn Thomas
Soundtrack: John Debney

Look, there’s no question Peter Hyams has directed some bad movies in his career, but on the whole I think he’s criminally underrated. Capricorn One is a pretty good late-70s conspiracy thriller; Outland is a totally bad-@$$ space western; 2010 is a more-than-worthy (and Kubrick-approved) sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey; and maybe The Presidio isn’t a great film, but boy does it have its moments. But, we’re not really here to wax poetic on Peter Hyams; we’re here to talk about his amazing action film, Sudden Death.

This movie is awesome. It’s completely over-the-top and, at times, a little cornball, but if you’re looking for well-directed and exciting action set pieces, then you’ve come to the right place. Powers Boothe is, as usual, a fantastic black hat, and any time I get to hear this music is just totally gravy.

I also have to give a lot of credit to the production team for really embracing the city of Pittsburgh as a location. I’m not from there, or anything like that, but I have visited, and it’s a unique city with a unique look that really adds a lot of character to the movie.

Other than that, I really don’t know what else to say that’s meaningful.

Game 7. The Vice President. And it’s up to Van Damme to save the day.

What more could you want?

Rating: ★★★★½

Movie #2: Lionheart (1990)

Directed by Sheldon Lettich
Written by S.N. Warren (Earlier Screenplay), Jean-Claude Van Damme (Story and Screenplay), and Sheldon Lettich (Screenplay)
Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Harrison Page, Deborah Rennard, Lisa Pelikan, Ashley Johnson, Brian Thompson, Voyo Goric, Michel Qissi, Eric Karson, Billy Blanks, Lawrence Bender, Scott Spiegel, Abdel Qissi
Soundtrack: John Scott

So, this one was Greg’s must-see pick, because it’s his favorite JCVD movie. I don’t necessarily see what he sees in it, but I’m not going to judge in this case. It’s a sold-enough fighting movie, and the really interesting story is that the print of it we watched was apparently loaned out by the Academy Film Archive, so kudos to them, though I struggle to understand why they have it.

Lionheart is the directorial debut of long-time Van Damme collaborator Sheldon Lettich, and is the story of a French Legionnaire (who we don’t get a whole lot of English-language films about, other than Beau Geste) who goes A.W.O.L. in order to return to his badly burned brother in Los Angeles, and along the way gets involved in the world of underground fighting for the entertainment of rich people in order to make enough cash to get where he needs to go and also take care of his brother’s family.

In short, Van Damme fights his way out of Africa, goes to New York and fights some guys, then goes to LA and fights some guys, and then goes to some ridiculous mansion to fight a huge guy.

All of the fight scenes in Lionheart are shot competently enough, and the New York footage is a nice time capsule, but on the whole I just felt like it was missing something. I can’t really put my finger on it, but there was just something lacking in it, like it’s not as fun to watch as you’d think; although a slow clap did break out in the theater during the final fight, which is always fun.

I was genuinely disappointed that Van Damme never fought Brian Thompson’s character (aka “The Night Slasher” from Cobra), but maybe that’s just me.

Rating: ★★★½

Movie #3: Knock Off (1998)

Directed by Hark Tsui
Written by Steven E. de Souza
Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Rob Schneider, Lela Rochon, Paul Sorvino, Glen Chin, Peter Nelson
Soundtrack: Ron and Russell Mael (aka Sparks)

Every Alamo Drafthouse actor marathon has at least one really obscure selection that causes the audience to say, “What’s this movie?” Sometimes it’s great; sometimes it’s good.

In the case of Van Dammage, it was Knock Off (personally selected by Cristina).

This movie occasionally veers into the so-bad-it’s-good territory, and when it does, it’s glorious, but for the most part it falls into the frustratingly bad category.

Directed by Hark Tsui (who also directed Double Team), Knock Off feels akin to Russian Terminator, an attempt to make an English-language action film by people who don’t really have a grasp of what they’re attempting, which is shocking given that writer Steven E. de Souza also wrote such amazing action films as Die Hard and Die Hard 2.

The plot is incoherent, the filmmakers clearly have no grasp of what the CIA is or does, and some of the editing is so uncomfortably fast and furious that I actually had to look away because my head hurt (fortunately, I had my chicken and waffles special to dig into when times got rough).

There are some nice Van Damme moments in here, but not enough to watch the entire movie. Find a highlight reel on YouTube or something and you’ll be good to go.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Movie #4: Hard Target (1993)

Directed by John Woo
Written by Chuck Pfarrer
Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lance Henriksen, Yancy Butler, Arnold Vosloo, Wilford Brimley, Kasi Lemmons, Ted Raimi, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Chuck Pfarrer (Cameo)
Soundtrack: Graeme Revell and Tim Simonec

It’s a John Woo film (his Hollywood debut, in fact). It’s got guns, motorcycles, slow motion, and doves.

And Jean-Claude Van Damme. And the City of New Orleans. (Which got me thinking: what if Van Damme played Gambit in an X-Men movie? Hmmm…)

Anyway, Hard Target is essentially John Woo’s version of The Most Dangerous Game. Once again, like in Lionheart, rich people are doing crazy illegal things because they can afford it; this time, hunting people for sport! Also, Van Damme plays a merchant seaman who has to take whatever work he can get because he can’t afford his union dues (just like Inside Llewyn Davis).

Van Damme helps a girl to find her father, they cross paths with the wrong people, and much action ensues. So. Much. Action.

This was a great film to end the day with. The crowd was definitely into it and everyone was having a wonderful time. Plus, this movie inspired a fantastic drink special complete with custom mason jar. Thanks, Wilford Brimley!

I give it a half star less than Sudden Death because I think Van Damme’s performance is more magnetic in that one (plus, you know, hockey), but Hard Target is still a must-see for action fans.

Rating: ★★★★☆

In conclusion, although not every movie was a winner, Van Dammage was a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon, and I’m grateful for the experience, as are my friends, I’m sure.

Now who wants to go home, and who wants to go WITH ME!?