Brother Theodore – People Talking

Quick Thoughts – Summer Round-Up, Part 4 – Exhumed Films: Guilty Pleasures Marathon, Part II

What better way to spend a beautiful summer Saturday than cramming yourself into a dark theater all day to watch five really obscure movies?
I don’t know!
But, thanks to the wonderful folks at Exhumed Films and Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers, I was able to spend August 22, 2015 in a state of B-movie bliss.

Now, Exhumed Films is an apt name for a company that can dig up prints of such gems as I’m going to discuss (and they’re all definitely guilty pleasures). These five movies are, in fact, so rare that I couldn’t even find trailers for them online, at least not in English (you’ll honestly have an easier time finding the full movies on YouTube, but you didn’t hear that from me). Even the IMDb entries are largely incomplete.

Enough jibber jabber. Let’s talk some schlock.

Movie #1: ‘Radioactive Dreams’ (1985)
01 - Radioactive Dreams

‘Hard-boiled detective Film Noir’ meets ‘post-apocalyptic [and sometimes cannibalistic] Science Fiction’ meets ‘fish-out-of-water Comedy’ in this ambitious but not entirely successful effort from, as RedLetterMedia‘s Jay Bauman would say, “schlock auteur” Albert Pyun.

John Stockwell and Michael Dudikoff (who I both really like in this, even if it’s in kind of a hammy way) play Phillip and Marlowe, two lads left in a bunker at the outbreak of World War III (and, yes, it’s a nuclear war), left to educate themselves, apparently in the ways of the 1940s. Upon finding a way to finally break out into the outside world, they discover that what was once a lush green landscape is now a desolate wasteland, filled with mutants, gangs, and one particularly suspicious woman, who accidentally leaves them with the launch keys to the last nuclear missile, thus setting the plot in motion (whoever controls the nuke, controls the “world”).

I don’t know for sure, but I think ‘Radioactive Dreams’ was both the longest and biggest-budgeted movie of the day, but it wasn’t the most overall entertaining. It starts with momentum and finishes with momentum, but the middle section drags quite a bit.

Even so, I’d say it’s worth checking out at least once. As I said, it doesn’t hit on everything, but I appreciate its ambition (especially relative to its modest budget), and it’s got some nice laughs, particularly if you’re familiar with those “private dick” movies of old.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Movie #2: ‘Gang Wars’ aka ‘Devil’s Express’ (1976)

My compatriots for the day didn’t really like this one, but I thought it was one of the most entertaining bad movies I’ve ever seen.

The plot is crazy, but I’ll try to sum it up the best I can.

A long time ago. somewhere in China, a group of monks defeated a demon, put it in a box (or something), and put it at the bottom of a cave; the monks then commit ritual suicide in order to protect the whereabouts of this evil demon. Hard cut to present-day (that is, 1970s) New York. An afro-sporting kung-fu instructor (Warhawk Tanzania) flies out to China, along with his friend, to finish his own training to be certified as a Master. One day, while our hero is meditating, his friend wanders off and finds the secret location, taking the box for himself and unwittingly unleashing the evil force within. The demon then somehow possesses a random Chinese gentleman and boards a boat bound for New York. After arriving in Manhattan, the demon finds a nice refuge in the Subway, and that’s when things start to get really bloody.

One aspect that elevates ‘Gang Wars’ is the location that is mid-70s NYC, and I don’t mean in a guerrilla filmmaking sort of way, because reportedly the production got all the permits they needed, despite the low budget (instant production value!).

Other than that, the kung fu fighting scenes are hilariously awkward, we’ve got a cameo from Brother Theodore as a priest (improvising ridiculousness, as usual), and just a whole host of funny-bad moments, in addition to some nice, crafty practical effects.

Loads of fun, if you’ve got a group.

Rating: ★★★½

Movie #3: Redneck Miller (1976)

There are no “good guys” in ‘Redneck Miller’. Only antagonists and a nominal protagonist.

I say this because our presumable hero, radio disc jockey Redneck Miller, is a real scumbag himself. No need to explain why, but if you see the film, it’ll be as plain as day to you (let’s just say the hapless henchmen aren’t the only boobs on the screen).

The movie starts out with the thieving of a drug pick-up by a guy on a very unique motorcycle, who then, after making his getaway, returns the motorcycle to its rightful owner, none other than Redneck Miller. Needless to say, eventually the people whose drugs were stolen find the motorcycle, start harassing Miller, and Miller must find the real thief and clear his name before he or anyone else is dead meat.

I’ve seen some examples of exploitation cinema in my time, but this might be the most exploitative I’ve come across yet. It was entertaining enough for me, but not everyone shared that opinion.

Take it or leave it.

Rating: ★★½

Movie #4: ‘Nightmare at Shadow Woods’ aka ‘Blood Rage’ (1987)

Now we’re talking. This was the most entertaining movie of the day for me.

‘Nightmare at Shadow Woods’ is the story of twin brothers Terry and Todd, one of whom kills a pair of teenage lovers at a drive-in movie and successfully blames it on the other, forcing the innocent one to be committed to an institution. Fast forward about ten years (one of the boys is in college) to Thanksgiving and one of the boys has broken out of the asylum, which spurs the other one to go on a killing spree to presumably blame the other brother again.

I have to say, the unquestionable centerpiece of this film is Mark Soper, who plays the adult Terry/Todd. He gives the roles a real dichotomy, and I had no trouble believing it was two different characters. And he really sinks his teeth into playing the bad twin, I mean he is killing people and wisecracking like Will Smith in a alien movie, and I loved it, because I like to have fun watching low-budget slasher movies.

It’s a rare find, but if you can locate it, ‘Nightmare at Shadow Woods’ makes for great “scary movie night” fare (or if you’re looking for one of the only movies set at Thanksgiving).

Rating: ★★★★☆

Movie #5: ‘Ninja Busters’ (1984)

It may not have been my favorite of the day, but ‘Ninja Busters’ was by far the biggest treat, because this movie is so rare that it didn’t even get a proper release when it was supposed to, thirty years ago.

It’s a buddy comedy about two down-on-their-luck guys who join a karate school with the intention of picking up girls, and eventually they become black belts and get mixed up with some criminals and ninjas.

In real-life, most of the movie’s prominent characters were respected martial artists, and one of two leads, Sid Campbell, actually wrote the script. He’s very good in the film as well; for someone without much on-screen experience, I found him to be a very natural comedic actor, and he gives the movie a lot of heart.

You can read the director’s account of how it was made, unreleased, and then found again on his blog. It’s quite a story, and I look forward to being able pick up ‘Ninja Busters’ on Blu-Ray.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Well, there you have it. A whole day’s worth of low budget charm. Kudos again to Exhumed Films and Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers for putting it together.

I look forward to “Guilty Pleasures Marathon, Part III” in 2016 (although Part II might be tough to beat, honestly).

Quick Thoughts – Summer Round-Up, Part 2

Continued from Part 1…

‘The Stepfather’ (1987)

With the proliferation of PG-13 “horror” films these days, it’s almost hard to imagine a movie actually adding things to justify an R-rating, but back in the day the producers of ‘The Stepfather’ saw a PG-13 rating as a potential marketing problem. Really though, the whole movie was kind of a marketing problem. As you can gather from the poster, this got pushed out as something of a slasher movie, but it’s really more of a Hitchcockian thriller, like if ‘Rear Window’ and ‘Psycho’ had an Eighties baby (not that it’s Hitchcock-level quality, but the director apparently saw it as more of a dark comedy, which is a lens Hitchcock viewed much of his own work through).

We already know who the bad guy is from the very beginning, so the tension doesn’t come from the audience discovering who the killer is, but rather the characters in the movie. It really only works as a product of its time (why they even tried to remake it and update it is beyond me), but it’s effective, and it still holds up pretty well today. despite the generational gap.

Terry O’Quinn’s performance is unquestionably the centerpiece of the film. He’s on his A-game as a very disturbed individual trying to see if he can finally hold it all together, but the supporting actors, particularly Jill Schoelen, hold their own as well.

It might get a little corny at times, but for a horror/thriller, ‘The Stepfather’ makes a solid movie night pick.

Rating: ★★★½

‘Thunderball’ (1965)

“There’s a lot of movie in that movie.”

It’s a true statement of pretty much every Bond film since ‘Goldfinger’, but it’s perhaps most true of ‘Thunderball’. In fact, there’s so much movie here it’s almost exhausting: you’ve got airplanes, you’ve got nuclear weapons, underwater combat, fast cars, deadly sharks, multiple bombshell women, fast boats, world extortion, electrified conference room chairs, Bahamian street festivals, an actual jetpack, Tom Jones singing, and a peeing dog.

All that said, while you do feel its length, I appreciate the producers’ effort to make a real crowd-pleaser. The underwater scenes in particular, from both a visual and technical perspective, are overwhelmingly impressive, even now (“it’s so dense, every single image has so much going on…”).

Now, I’ll be honest, I actually like the remake (‘Never Say Never Again’) better, but only because the interplay between Sean Connery and Klaus Maria Brandauer is so much fun, at least in my opinion. On the whole, I’d say ‘Thunderball’ remains the superior film (especially in the Bond Girl department). Plus, ‘Thunderball’ might be the most influential spy movie on pop culture in general (it’s still the highest grossing Bond film when you adjust for inflation).

Rating: ★★★★☆

‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’ (1988)

Boy, that Bob Zemeckis sure had a strong foothold on the mid to late Eighties, didn’t he?

I think computers have made us numb to the appreciation of animation, but back in the day (and even as recently as 2004) it was a highly labor-intensive process. It may not have been the first and it certainly wasn’t the last, but I personally don’t know of another film that blends live-action and traditional animation to the degree that ‘Roger Rabbit’ does, and in that sense alone it is an incredible triumph of cinema.

Perhaps lost on today’s audiences is the wrangling of so many different characters from different (and, traditionally, very competitive) animation studios to be in one movie. For people who grew up watching the old cartoons, it must’ve been mind-blowing at the time to see Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse, Felix the Cat, and Woody Woodpecker all in the same motion picture (not to mention the dueling piano scene with Donald Duck and Daffy Duck actually sharing the screen together).

It might not be in the AFI Top 100, but this is a seminal movie nonetheless, and, like so many other Eighties “kids movies”, it will traumatize your children (seriously, I still don’t know if I’m over that ending).

Rating: ★★★★☆

‘Full Metal Jacket’ (1987)

Thirty years after making one of the best war (and anti-war) films of all time in ‘Paths of Glory‘, Stanley Kubrick unleashed himself on a whole new generation of moviegoers with ‘Full Metal Jacket’. This is another classic that I can’t say too much about that hasn’t been said already, the most obvious being that I can’t believe it was only nominated for one Academy Award, so I’ll praise a couple of things that I think have been underrated over the years.

First of all, most people talk about R. Lee Ermey and Vincent D’Onofrio, and that’s fine, but Matthew Modine as Pvt. Joker (you know, the protagonist of the film) gives a really good performance as well. One of my favorite moments is the “Virgin Mary” scene, when he’s the first Private to actually stand up to Gny. Sgt. Hartman and earns himself a promotion to squad leader. It’s a very emotional scene with a lot of shouting, yes, but you never feel like, “Oh, they’re just performing.” No, they’re in it, and he’s in it in particular.

Secondly, did you know this entire movie (outside of some archive footage of a Parris Island graduation) was filmed in England? England! I bet you thought they went to the Philippines or Taiwan or at least somewhere in Asia, but no, they filmed a movie that takes place in South Carolina and Vietnam entirely in jolly old England! If that’s not “movie magic”, I don’t know what is.

It’s a very dark movie (but surprisingly funny at times), for sure, but if I was making a list of ten war films everyone should see (regardless of your feelings on war), I’d be hard pressed to leave this one out.

Rating: ★★★★½

‘The ‘Burbs’ (1989)

For some reason I keep thinking I’m not much of a [New Jersey’s own] Joe Dante guy, but after looking at his filmography again, I’m not sure that’s true. There must be someone else I keep confusing him with.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this movie. It’s a very funny blend of mostly comedy with horror elements. The wonderful ensemble cast is what truly makes it: you’ve got Tom Hanks as the stressed-out everyman who just wants to relax at home for his vacation; Carrie Fisher as his dutiful wife; Rick Ducommun as the wise-cracking sidekick and general instigator; Bruce Dern as the wily and paranoid ex-military man; Wendy Schaal as his wife (and neighborhood eye-candy); Corey Feldman as the teenager next door; and Henry Gibson, Brother Theodore, and Courtney Gains as the mysterious Klopeks (not to mention cameos from Dick Miller and Robert Picardo, because this is a Joe Dante film).

For anyone who’s ever had strange neighbors you wanted to avoid at all costs, you’ll definitely relate (and probably feel justified in that thinking).

If you’ve not seen it, definitely check it out, especially around Halloween time.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Continued in Part 3…